The Opposite of Blue
by SpellboundWinter
Summary: I told myself, when I wake up I'll see a window. And out the window I'll see the traces of the mountainside. I'll would be welcomed by the aroma of coffee mom would be brewing downstairs. My alarm clock would go off at six thirty exactly. My little cockatoo would be chirping by then. That day never came. I was only fooling myself. AU-ish. Creek, Twenny and a bit of Style *Complete*
1. Chapter 1

**As per usual, this is a work of fiction. South Park is created and owned by Matt Stone and Trey Parker. The plot, however, is mine and only for entertainment purposes. I'm not making any profit off of this.**

**So, here we go. A story of Tweek Tweak. I gotta say, I looooove Tweek. Since I've been writing Kenny shtuff I should write some Tweek. Even things out... lol**

**It's got Creek and Tweeny~! :D It's like a candy store, yay.**

* * *

When I'd come to after a long night of tossing and turning, it was a terrifying experience to open my eyes. It was the worst feeling anyone could possibly imagine.

I told myself, when I wake up I'll see a window. And out the window I'll see the traces of the mountainside. I'll would be welcomed by the aroma of coffee mom would be brewing downstairs. My alarm clock would go off at six thirty exactly. My little cockatoo would be chirping by then. Today would be the greatest day of my life.

I hesitantly opened my eyes to the pink that nearly radiated off the four walls.

All of what I told myself was a lie. None of that was true, at least, not anymore.

I lifted myself off the small cot. I placed my feet on the cold cement floors. It was enough to wake you up in the mornings. It wasn't anything like coffee but it was close.

I couldn't help but place my head in my hands. I wanted to cry for so many reasons.

I told myself, "Today will be the worst day of my life."

And I believed it.

I heard a few knocks on the only door in the room. The man with the red curls would come in and make sure I was up. And so began my ritual. The ritual that started so long ago.

I'd brushed my hair and teeth in the mirror while the man with the red curls watched me. I slid on a new shirt the man provided me along with sweat pants. The man would take my night clothes and place them in a hamper.

I had gotten shoes. They didn't have laces. Shoelaces weren't allowed here.

He said nothing; he's not all that talkative.

I'm escorted to the cafeteria by the man with the wild red hair.

I hated breakfast the most. I never felt like eating in the morning but I have to eat. They watched me eat.

After breakfast they note how much I ate. I never ate enough for them to be satisfied.

After this long ordeal of a spiel he would tell me every day, he would escort me back to my room.

And after this routine was finally alone. In my own twisted way of thinking, this was my favorite place in the whole world. It didn't have any windows and only one door.

It was the place I could sit and think for hours upon hours. I was relaxed but in a way I'm torn. I missed my old life. I left everything behind. They took me from my house and put me here.

I have to say, the jitters are going away and I feel at peace

One thing about my room, it made me so tired. The colors of the walls were hard to stare at so I always tried playing other games to keep myself occupied.

I'd play the quiet game with myself. I know it sounds impossible but it's actually fun. I'd play it every day. It was my favorite game of all.

Throughout the day, however, people did visit this room. And I never spoke back.

When I would, I always told them the same thing… "I want hot coffee."

They usually left before they even got my order. It was always the same and soon I just stopped talking.

Around the afternoon, the man with the red curls would knock three times. It sounded like the old clichéd knock, 'shave and a haircut' but vut short.

He usually presented himself nicely. He'd carry in a tray with a little paper cup with a few little white things and a drink of water.

The only way I knew his name was on his name tag. Kyle Broflovski. The reason I always referred to him as red curls was his untamed red bush on his head.

The psychiatrist would meet me three times a day, every day for one hour.

Every time he came inside my room, I had to hold back these tears. He had these striking blue eyes. He reminded me of this boy Craig. In fact, he looked a lot like him.

It was my favorite time was when he came around. He'd take me to his office and we'd talk. When the tears pricked my eyes, I liked to believe it was because the past. It didn't make me sad, no, that wasn't it. It was this overwhelming feeling of nostalgia.

It reminded me of my past and made me really happy. It was like, this overwhelming feeling of homesickness.

The psychiatrist always said it's good to reflect on the past.

I remember being at school. They always called me 'Twitch' or 'Twitchy'. I never liked them too much.

I never liked Craig either. I hated myself to like him the way I do. He's just the epitome of perfection.

My name is Tweek Tweak and was imprisoned at South Park mental facility. I'm nineteen years old and I'm told I have problems I needed to work out.

I don't feel crazy or insane. I'm not. I just have unfinished business.

I could tell you about my life before all this. How I ended up here.

Only if you wanted to listen to a supposed crazy man's story.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here I am :D****  
****I still don't own South Park.**

**Updatin' like a dork~!**

* * *

I don't think I was always like this. I was always twitching and ever paranoid. Wide eyes in the middle of the night, I can't ever sleep. Ever.

I think back to my old life before this place, when everything was a lot simpler.

I remember how the cold mountain air burned my nostrils. We had to run for our finals in gym. Everyone's name was being called and each person was made to run around the track. You could imagine how nervous I would be. Every eye is on you when you run, so naturally, I'm shaking.

I could hear my name being called. I'm next to the slaughter. Token had just done his lap and it was an impossibility fast time at that.

I felt my fingertips shake while I fastened myself into the starter. The gym teacher glanced down at me with his whistle still in his mouth, his finger on the trigger of the stop watch.

I could hear the ear splitting whistle break the hum of my thoughts.

My legs turned into rubber as they flung themselves faster and faster onto the track. I could feel my damn heart racing like I was about to pass out. I could hear the clop of my clumsy feet sporadically hitting the ground. I was starting to hyperventilate and my head was getting fuzzy.

I searched the stands and I saw him. Craig, the one dressed in blue and an indifferent look plastered on his face. But, that wasn't the case today, he was actually smiling. Seeing him show any emotion near me made my chest expand with butterflies and I felt like I was going to vomit.

I was distracted by that heavenly sight as I felt myself stumble, landing on my face.

Right in front of everyone, I tripped over my own feet like a school girl. I could hear echoes of laughs from the bleachers. I wonder if Craig was laughing at me too.

I let out a cry, getting to my feet, ignoring the blood was gushing out of my knees and chin.

I needed to finish. My breaths were sporadic and my legs were getting heavy as if I was running in mud. I felt a burst of adrenaline go straight to my head as I passed the coach. He shook his head in disapproval.

I hung my head sadly. He didn't have to say a word. I had failed to beat my old time.

I was the last to run and the failure of the class. The gym teacher blew his whistle signaling free time.

The boys ran off to play football and the girls went to run for extra credit and then there was me. I just sat in the grass. I overheard Clyde who was bragging about his time. I grabbed at the grass pulling it out from the ground almost spitefully mumbling out obscenities. Sorry grass, but you were in my way.

"What's wrong with Twitch?" I heard Clyde chuckle.

I jumped in surprise. I didn't even see them there! Craig, Clyde and Token stared down at me.

"My name is -ngh- Tweek." I spoke up trying to control the spasm of excitement.

"What did you get?" Craig said monotonously.

"I failed." I felt myself twitch again. Dammit.

"You did shitty but," I peeked back up to his face to see that he grinned in amusement. "You did seem like you were having fun."

I came back to reality, back to me on the cot. I twist over to the wall. I felt myself grin. Even the memories fill me with satisfaction. I hear the familiar 'shave an-' knock.

I got up, looking over towards the door. Kyle stood in the doorway. It's my time again. Time to see my psychiatrist.

A small walk through a few hallways and I think I'm the only patient in this whole place. I never hear any people and I never see them. It makes you feel a little crazy anyways.

I open the door to the office with the nice man who looks like Craig.

In his office he had a long wooden desk and a comfy looking rolling chair. He'd roll it out towards me and he'd have this clipboard. I'd sit on this nice big comfy leather loveseat. When I spoke with him, I'd look at my sweatpants.

I was almost embarrassed.

This session was important; at least that's what he told me. I glanced over at him.

He could be Craig's Twin... Those eyes and his hair color. They could be brothers. Everything speaks the color blue.

On his desk there is a label that says: Stanley Marsh PhD.

I played with the splitting cuticles on my fingers. "You're name is Stanley?"

"Yes, if you prefer to call me Stanley you may do so." He got his pen ready. "Who are you Tweek?"

"Agh! I-Is this a trick question? I don't –ngh- know who I am."

I heard the faint sound of pen against paper. "Just relax. Tell me, who _are_ you."

I look at the ground searching for something, answers, I dunno. "I-I dunno!"

"Are you a boy or are you a girl?"

"I-I think I'm a boy- Ngh! Am I a girl?"

"What color are your eyes?"

"Hazel…"

"What's your mother's name?"

"I-I… don't know."

"Are you angry?"

"NGH! I'm confused. This is way too much pressure." I started to tug on my hair. "Jesus Christ!"

He started to write something down on the board and the silence seemed to span on for forever. "Tweek, it's harder than I thought to understand what exactly is the reason for your insomnia, paranoia is and violent urges."

"Violence?! I-I'm normal, man."

"Tweek, I know it's hard to understand right now but I'm your friend. Take a breath. Relax."

Just as soon as it started my one-on-one session with Craig- I mean, Stan. Knock, knock. Kyle pops his head inside the door.

This was my signal. I got up from my chair as Kyle took the paperwork. "You ready Tweek?" Kyle grinned at me.

The one with the red curls was always watching me. He escorted me into my room before shutting it behind me. It's not like I'm some sort of criminal.

I think on the past again. Back to the days when I was in school.

I remember the crowds, I hate crowds. They make me incredibly scared. I was stirring the lunch on my plate. I didn't know what to do with my time.

I tried my best to stay quiet. I know I had a lot of outbursts and shrieks but I'd try to control it. I felt the increasing race beat of my heart in my chest. Too much pressure.

There was a girl who pointed to a seat across from me. "Can I sit here?"

"AGH! I'm saving this seat for someone." I was lying. Nobody ever sat by me, well, there was Timmy sometimes but even he didn't want to sit by me.

She shrugged before made her way somewhere else.

I was tired of people trying to wedge their way into my life. I only wanted one person to wedge their way into my life and that was Craig. Sometimes, don't tell anyone, I would imagine Craig sitting with me, but of course he never did.

I can't help think that I'm weird and an outcast. I have to admit it's lonely and pitiful existence. I still don't think I belong in society. I'm just too different.

That day, sitting at lunch, I was holding the note I was going to give him. It was everything I ever wanted to tell him. All my feelings. Everything I've ever wanted to communicate to him.

I built up the courage to finally admit it.

I was snapped out of my day dream when the man with the red curls entered my 'cell'. "Lunch time."

I peered up to him. "Still playing the quite game?"

I let out a sigh before whispering out. "...Not anymore."

He appeared positively surprised. "You're actually talking?"

I gave him a genuine smile. "I don't think I wanna play that anymore."

With that we left to lunch.


	3. Chapter 3

**:D UPDATE~!**

**Thanks for the support~! You guys are just so adorable. :3**

**Anyways, since the way Tweek speaks is totally odd, the chapters are extremely short. So I think I'll squish two chapters together from now on. Hope you guys enjoy this story... Its tone is dramatically different then my other story I'm working on.**

* * *

I thought in color. Everything had a color. Emotions, thoughts, feelings… even actions had an aligned color. I was always seeing and thinking in a variety of colors.

Today felt like a royal blue. The color made me think of a rich hue that had something to hide. Men in fancy suits wore the shade because of how dark and sophisticated it looked. It hid their true intentions. Cruel and nasty intentions.

It also reminded me of Craig.

I was giddy today since I was finally given drawing utensils and paper. Stan 'prescribed' paper and crayons. I asked for pens but I guess crayons aren't all that bad.

I guess doing art really unwinds people. Honestly, I've never tried it myself. But, now I could do something productive. I could get my mind off of things for the time being.

I raised the cobalt crayon from the box before sketching out a plain drawn stick figure. I don't think anyone could tell but it was Craig.

He loved blue. I love blue too. It was his color. He always wore a chullo and a variety hoodies. He was always dressed in blue.

I thought back to giving Craig the note I'd been writing.

After multiple attempts at giving him the note subtly, I worked up the courage to bring it to him in person.

I remember it perfectly. It was a Saturday afternoon, thirty minutes before Red Racer. It was Craig's favorite show.

I was twitching and convulsing the whole walk to his house. Those mean thoughts kept racing in my head like, 'what if he tells me he hates me and slits my throat?' or my personal favorite, 'what if he rejects me?'. Irrational and rational fears always followed me around but I was on the verge of panic attack. Those are not fun by the way.

I shook off the anxiety before I knocked on the door a few times. What I was doing, I have no idea. I felt like a complete idiot just standing there. My brain was telling me to fun away and I was starting to agree.

I twirled on my heel, ready to hightail it far away from there when away I heard the door click open and a certain nasally voice reached me. "Twitch?"

I looked over my shoulder to see him leaning in his doorway with a cigarette in hand. "How do you know where I live?"

I lost the words in my throat. I felt like such a creep in that moment. I swallowed roughly but the spit wasn't going down. My brain told me then I was drowning. I went into a coughing fit.

"Forget it. What do you want?"

I regained my composure before I shoved the note into his hands.

He let his cigarette dangle from his lips loosely. He unfolded the note and his eyes started to move back and forth. He was actually taking his time to read each word. Craig closed the note abruptly.

I twitched. "I-I -GAH- meant every word."

He looked up at me. Yeah, I was taller. He immediately folded back up and shoved it into his pocket. He died his cigarette on the side of his house, flicking the filter somewhere in the snow. He stood giving me this look. Craig was already unreadable but now I didn't know what he was thinking.

Was he angry? Upset? Disgusted?

"I'm sorry, I shoul-"before I had time to finish he grabbed my collar roughly.

Jesus Christ, I'm in for it now.

He yanked me down into his lips. My senses are put into a whorl.

His lips tasted like an ashtray with a hint of mint. I know, that sounds utterly disgusting but this was Craig. This was his taste and it was intoxicating.

At first, I was frozen in place. I didn't kiss back. I was in utter shock. In time, I melted into his touch and wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

I don't think he liked that because he shrugged me off, breaking the kiss indefinitely. I wiped the side of my mouth. He was a sloppy kisser or I was really bad at kissing. Probably the second one.

"Want to come inside and watch Red Racer with me for a little while?" he hinted.

I didn't really know what that meant but... I was a little naive back then.

I was pulled from my thoughts as I heard my own 'cell' door being opened quiet loudly.

Stan peeked his head in the door like a concerned parent. "How are you Tweek?"

"Good. I really feel good." I said simply.

He wandered over to my side, leaning over my shoulder. God, he looks just like Craig.

"I like this one. " He pointed to the one I was scribbling on. "After you're done with your drawings can I have them?"

"Sure. And Stan? Can I have some hot coffee?" I asked with a little pout.

"You know you can't have coffee. Besides, tomorrow I have a big surprise for you." he left without another word. Well, now I want to know. That's just too much suspense.

I continued drawing the little stick figure Craig.

I gasped as the memories came rushing back. It was like a tidal wave of emotions. You see, I don't take being rejected well. I don't like any type of negativity. It completely crushes me.

I've always been the one to try to please people.

Craig. He was so beautiful. He was so perfect and... _evil_.

So repugnant. Such an wicked bastard who doesn't even deserve what he's worth!

After the whole situation with Craig. With promises of pleasure and companionship. I was so innocent. I was only eighteen, anyone could have told me they loved me and I would have melted in their hands like butter.

And Craig used that against me.

After a passion filled afternoon at Craig's I felt almost invisible. I felt wanted again. I felt like for the first time, life opened up its arms to me. I saw everything in a new light.

I was walking down the hall and everyone's eyes were on me. I was looking all around at the people's faces. Some stifling giggles others glancing at me horrified. Something was shoved in all the lockers.

The people all had these papers in hand too. I put two and two together.

I stopped at my locker before I read all the nice things people wrote in marker. Things like, 'faggot' and other derogatory terms. I ripped the paper out of my locker before skimming it. My face dropped. It was a photocopy of the note I gave him. Along with a nice little reply from Craig.

It said in a nutshell, "I want nothing to do with you. You're a pathetic waste of space. Nobody wants you here. Your disgusting and I hate you" things like that.

How could this have happen?

I peered over to Craig and his group. His handsome features contorted in an ugly grin. A few laughs and a lot of groans of disgust. I could feel my legs shaking and I was almost in tears.

I thought he liked me too. No, he... he showed me how much he loved me.

He humiliated me.

He was the first person I had opened up to. He was the last person as well.

The next thing I remembered was being on top of him, beating into his face with my bare hands. Blood was gushing from his nose and his eyes were swollen shut. When the security guards and teachers pulled me off I realized my mistake.

The blood was on my hands. This was my doing. I was yanked farther away from Craig. I noticed the horrified faces.

Why did I mess everything I touched? Why is this all wrong?

I came back to the present, holding the now broken cobalt crayon.

I felt myself freeze up as tears pricked my eyes. They stung and threatened to spill over but I wouldn't let them. I wouldn't give myself the satisfaction. I clutched the split crayon tighter between my fingers.

I glared at the happy stick figure before scribbling it into a blue oblivion.

* * *

Guess what Stan told me today? I get to leave the room!

They packed up all my things, taking me to a new room with white walls. There was two beds and just one me. I didn't mind that much, I liked being alone.

He said I had a list of fun things to do after breakfast: rec room, education studies and I can even walk by myself!

I know that kinda sounds dumb but just think, I don't need Kyle leading me around anymore. I could come and go as I pleased. I could finally do a few things on my own. I feel so freed.

After a short breakfast I made my way down to the recreational room.

I cracked the door hesitantly before peeking my head inside. I saw a lot of people my age standing around talking. Some were watching TV and some were sitting at tables doing crafts. There were even basketball hoops and other sports equipment although they really didn't interest me.

One of the guys caught my eye. Over at the farthest tables was blond boy who was doodling. It was the only table with paper and crayons and I felt the urge to doodle.

I took a seat beside him, he neither acknowledged me or noticed my presence. I grabbed a few sheets of paper, taking blue from the box and I began to doodle as well.

I could feel his gaze turn to me as his hand seized the blue out of my hand.

"Hey," I growled. "I was using that!"

"Too bad." He started to scribble on the paper. He had a mountain of crayons beside him. That didn't seem very fair.

There was this long pregnant silence. I glared at him puckering out my bottom lip.

He reached across me, picking out another color from the box, before going back to his vigorous coloring. "Keep making mean faces and your face might freeze up like that."

"What's your name?" I tried switching the subject.

After a moment he spoke up again. "… Kenny."

"Why are you here?"

"Actually, I'm not supposed to be here. I was put here by mistake."

I twitched. He looked at me oddly. "What's wrong with you?"

"They don't know yet."

He threw me a color. White. What am I supposed to do with a white crayon anyways? "You don't seem that bad. You just seem uptight."

I fidgeted, twirling the white crayon between my fingers. "You don't know what I've done. I'm a -NGH- bad person."

"A bad person never admits they're a bad person."

"Who says?"

He pointed to himself proudly. This guy was really full of himself.

I noticed a hand in my face, I jumped back seeing his extended arm. "Nice to meet you...?"

"Tweek." I gripped his hand, giving a strong shake.

One of the nurses yelled out. "No contact!" There were a few strict rules, one of them was the most important, no contact with another patient physically whatsoever.

I didn't want to end up in the pink room again so I just shrunk up, obeying quietly.

"Nice to meetcha Tweek. Sorry, I'm a bit abrasive today. I'm in one of my moods." he responded with a cheery grin.

"I'm sorry if I came out a little mean too. It's been a long time since I've talked to anyone too. They say it's because of my violent tendencies."

Kenny leaned back, pretending to be intimidated. "Whoa man, you look like a real badass." he nudged me. "I'm just joking around. Loosen up dude."

I nodded, before the silence overtook us again.

He tapped his fingers on the table before twisting back to me. He offered me another crayon. "Here, take an orange. You know most artists that use blue are clinically depressed."

I scoffed before letting out a loud outburst. "That's such a lie."

"Picasso used lots of blues. Look at him now, he's dead as a door-nail." he responded flatly. "Or maybe it's because he's been dead for like, fifty years. I dunno."

I jittered before I grinned widely. I tried to stifle my giggle but I ended up snorting anyways. He gave me a crooked smile, flashing me his teeth.

"Stick to the warmer colors," he rolled the lone orange to me. "They tend to keep people happier."

I glanced at the orange before I heard one of the nurses pipe up. "All right, times up. Time to clean up your area."

Kenny grabbed all the crayons, shoving them into the box haphazardly. He left without another word. I was curious about his drawing. I mean, I didn't get to doodle much but he had one picture all done and he just abandoned it.

Was I even seeing this right?

It was an amazing to say the least. Except it was dark, like too dark. It was a guy in a orange hood, dead with crudely drawn blood splattered all over. This guy seemed happy and alive to say the least and he's drawing dead guys? It was odd but I brushed it off.

I set it down, seeing the orange staring back at me. I secretly slipped the crayon into my pocket.

Maybe he was right about blue.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello, :)**

**Looks like I uploaded the WRONG chapter to this story. DX *dies* ****Ahhh, I love being tired. ANYWAYS!**

**I feel kinda bad for Tweek. But yeah, still two chapters stuck together.**

**Two updates in one day? Crazy stuff.**

**Thankies for all the continued love and support you gais~! ;D**

* * *

The opposite of blue is orange.

I don't know why that was repeating in my head but it made me happy. It was like, 'carpe diem' or the overused, 'you only live once' acronym.

It was comforting in this moment. It was a true statement, the opposite of blue is orange and vice versa. They were complementary colors and opposites on the color wheel.

I wonder if they had opposite personalities.

I sunk back in the love-seat, fiddling with the orange crayon.

"Did you make any new friends at the recreational area?" Stan peered up from his flurry of papers scattered on his desk. Stan was everything but well thought-out. A pretty good Psychiatrist, terrible organizer.

"His name is Kenny."

"Kenny, huh?" Stan observed me with a smile. "McCormick?"

"Yeah, he doesn't think I'm a bad person at all." I let out a fluttery laugh. "He's easy to talk too. He says the funniest things."

"I see. Tell me more about him." Stan raised his hand to his chin, listening to me.

I told him everything there was to tell. There was a guy and that was about it. I didn't know what he wanted from me.

After it was all said and done, my time was up. I got out of there with some spare time to go to the recreational area.

Kenny plopped on the table, his hoodie almost radiating the color orange. He scanned the room, seeing me before shouting. "TWEEK! Buddy!" he waved me over. "Come here and pop a squat."

I think everyone knew Kenny from how loud he was. It was kinda embarrassing to be pointed out right when you walk in a room.

"Yeah?" I felt the people's eyes on me. Thanks Kenny.

"I want you to meet some good friends of mine. This is… Butters?" he said almost unsure. The boy beside him brightened.

"Yep! Gee, I'm sure pleased to meet you!" He said cheerfully before he fiddled with his knuckles.

I noticed how extremely feminine he actually was. His body was strung out and he had a plump baby face. He had long lashes and almost white blonde hair. He had this innocent quality about him like he jumped outta a Disney movie.

Kenny pointed out the girl beside Butters and yanked the girl closer beside him. I heard another nurse yell out in protest. "This wonderful little lady is Shelly."

He face instantly turned into a furious scowl. Wow, she didn't look at all friendly. She had headgear and choppy cut Chesnutt hair. She was pretty when she wasn't looking evil.

"I can introduce myself you turd!" she gave a little wave, not calming down in the least. "I'm Shelly."

I let out an anxious shudder before smiling. "T-t-thanks… My name is Tweek. N-nice to meet you guys." Gah, I wish I wasn't so high strung.

Shelly got closer to me, circling around me like some sort of bully on the playground. "How old are you? You look like your twelve." she scoffed before placing her hands on her hips.

Jesus Christ.

"I-I actually just turned nineteen. My birthday was in august."

Kenny pointed to himself eagerly. "I'm twenty."

"I turned eighteen a while ago…" Butters smiled thoughtfully. I thought he was going to say sixteen or something. "It doesn't seem that long ago."

"Fourteen." Shelly uttered quietly. Wow, I thought she was going to say twenty.

I can't guess someone's age to save my life, I guess.

"The flock of the feather stays together~!" Kenny sung oddly, gesturing to each of us.

"Well," Butters ground his knuckles together. "What's that mean?"

Shelly gave an exasperated sigh. "It means Kenny is a dumbass."

"Now Shelly, you know you can't curse in the rec room." he shook his finger in her face as she opened her mouth ready to bite it off. He snatched it away; he was absolutely beaming.

Kenny nudged me. "Pissy ain't she?" he winked.

I twitched nervously. "I-I dunno!"

"Jeez," Butters tilted his head, almost like a confused puppy. "You do an awful lot of twitchin' Tweek."

"I-I'm just nervous is all. It's a lot of pressure to make friends. Too much pressure."

"Tweek's here has mystery disorders." I twisted my head to Kenny almost hurt. That was private stuff.

Butters spoke up. "People say I have multiple personality disorder." he fumbled with his dry looking knuckles.

Shelly crossed her arms. "I have anger issues if that's not already apparent."

"See? We're one big happy family of disorders. Don't worry Tweekster." Kenny said coolly.

"What do you have?" I asked bravely.

Kenny threw his hands up in a shrug. "Gotta keep that a secret. I gotta keep mysterious for the hot chicks."

The nurse called out. "Time to clean your area."

I started out the door to see Kenny grab my wrist.

I flushed slightly, out of embarrassment than anything else. "What is it K-Kenny?"

"You using less blues Picasso?"

I brightened, digging around my pocket pulling out the single orange crayon.

He hugged my shoulders, it made me extremely uncomfortable. "Good. Don't die on me now."

* * *

Kyle 'escorted' me to breakfast, my plate was already waiting for me. I took a seat at the lone table. The whole cafeteria was empty. He flopped across from me, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He looked like he was partying all night, which probably is quite the contrary. I wonder what Kyle did in his spare time anyway.

What did he do for fun and what kind of friends did he have? So many questions.

I arranged my toast, eggs and assortment of fruit in order. I can't stand messes.

"You and Stan seem close." It was a shot in the dark but I just made an assumption.

Kyle beamed, an amorous smile spread across his features, those two had to be close. "You don't know the half of it."

"Tell me about it." I pushed him on. I wanted to get him at least a little distracted so I didn't have to eat.

"I don't think so." he laughed with a snort. "That's none of your business."

"Fine. I see how it is." I stabbed the scrambled eggs with my spoon. Forks aren't allowed here.

He brushed a few red curls away that fell over his face. "You seem a little more talkative than usual."

"I feel more talkative and, actually I'm really full." I pushed my tray away from me.

"I don't think a zero percent will look good on Stan's desk. He wasn't joking about the feeding tube."

As soon as he said that I began to really chow down. I popped a few grapes in my mouth, stuffing the eggs in my mouth. I really didn't want them giving me the tube.

I finished everything on my plate although it did make me feel nauseous.

He grinned, filling out a slip before grabbing my tray, throwing away its contents and stacking the tray on the others.

He smiled. "Why don't you come with me to turn this in? I could fit you in with Stan early."

I shrugged. I guess that sounds fun? Kyle hasn't ever offered to take me anywhere.

We ambled down the long hallway to his office. Kyle walked inside casually. Kenny turned from the love-seat, spotting me. "Tweek? What are you doing here?"

I shrugged. "I dunno man, -ngh- Kyle said that he had to turn in my food slip."

Stan held the bridge of his nose. "Kenny, your done here. I have to talk to Kyle in private."

Kenny jumped to his feet, shutting the door behind him. I flushed when he bumped into me. "Sup Tweekers. How are you today?"

I don't know why but the words got lost in my mouth. I fidgeted before smiling up. "Better, now that I saw you."

He blinked before leaning close, raising an eyebrow. "Are you flirting with me?"

I swallowed my tongue before going into a panic. "Uh- NO! I-I just, no! I hope you didn't get that impression."

Kenny busted into laughter. "Calm down Tweek, that was just a joke."

Kyle peeked his head out of the door. "Hey dude, Stan wants you."

Kenny shot me a smile. "See ya then."

I entered the tiny office without another word. Did I do something wrong? Oh god.

"Dude? come on, this is work, take it seriously." Stan warned him.

Kyle shrugged. "I've been working for eighteen hours. I'm a _little_ tired. You act like this is a Willy Wonka's factory."

"Blah, blah, blah," Stan stacked his papers. "Get out of here already."

The two shared a laugh before I sat in the love-seat confused. I looked at Stanley as he flipped through his sheets.

"What's been new with you? How is life treating you? Any new friends?" he sounded lax as ever.

"Well, there is these two people. Butters and Shelly."

"Tell me about them."

"Yeah, they seem pretty okay."

"Do you like them?"

"Yeah." I fidgeted. "It's nice to talk to people again."

He tapped his pen on the desk. "Good, this is a break through. I'm proud of you."

I felt like my heart was racing. Craig said- I mean, Stan said I improved. A little improvement is better than no improvement.

"What about Kenny?"

"What about Kenny?" I asked.

He sat up in his seat. "Nothing, nothing." his eyes shifted towards his clock. "How about we end early today? Go to the rec room and have some fun."

I jerked slightly before getting up from my seat heading out. I searched outside the room for Kyle, looking both ways. I shrugged before just going to the rec room.

I got to the rec room to see Kenny standing with Butters.

Kenny grimaced and tugged Butters hand. I noticed the fragile boy crying and blubbering on.

I got up to them when Butters turned to me with snot and tears streaming down his face. "Shelly's in the pink room."

"Pink room?" I asked.

"They send the mentally unstable and angry patients there." Kenny added.

"She lost all privileges to the rec room for a whole month!" he let out a whimper. "It's all my fault."

I felt bad for poor Butters. He seemed very sensitive. "D-don't cry Butters."

"My name _isn't_ Butters its Marjorine!" he snapped.

Kenny signaled me with his eyes to sit next to him.

"Marge, don't be sad. Shelly'll be back." Kenny cooed, rubbing his hand.

Marjorine glanced up, sniffling. "I-I guess your right Ken, I'm sorry."

"I'd hug ya but I don't want to get in trouble."

She sniveled before laughing slightly.

The one of the nurse rolled in a projector and popcorn. "Movie day."

The teens got excited running to their tables. Marjorine wiped her eyes. "I hope we watch something good this time."

I nudged Kenny's shoulder. "What's this?"

"We watch a movie on Fridays." The nurses sent down popcorns bags to each of us. I stared down at the freshly popped corn. "I'm fine."

Kenny shifted closer, his lips nearly brushing my ear. "Eat. They document everything." he whispered.

Marjorine was already hogging down her popcorn while Kenny nibbled on a few pieces. I looked down to my own popcorn. I haven't had it in so long. I lifted the kernel to my mouth, I tasted butter and a bit of salt.

The taste of salt was strong since my diet never consisted of anything with salt.

The movie title popped up. Red Racer: the adventures in Peru? Red Racer the movie?

I felt a pang.

Craig liked Red racer.

I thought back to the day after I destroyed Craig's face.

I remember the security guards seizing me as I flailed and screamed.

I remember how terrible Craig looked when they helped him into the nurses office. He was being drug by Clyde and Token. Craig was limp and blood dripped from his orifices.

I couldn't help but think, I did that.

I was pretty sure I was sobbing with snot running out of my nose. I remember them taking me into the office with the principle. She was so annoying. She didn't listen to a word I said. I got suspended for so long even though I told her about what Craig did.

I could feel my anxiety shaking my bones. I was twitching like a mad man.

I think about Craig and how bad I hurt him. It just happened with Craig, I didn't mean it. I loved the guy.

After a few days of sitting in my room, I decided to do something. I didn't like being suspended, it was enough guilt as it was. I scrapped up some money from my chores and working at the coffee shop and started down the street.

I went to the floral by the Rhinoplasty. I got these blue flowers, they were perfect. I think they were perennials.

The whole walk to Craig's house I wanted to run away. I kept thinking that this was a big mistake. I swallowed the bit of anxiety that hung over me. I rose my fist knocking on Craig's door. When I heard the squeak of hinges, I felt paranoia strike my being.

He was ugly.

His nose was broken and his eyes were both swollen shut.

"C-Cr-Craig. Are you alright?" I stumbled over my words.

He was silent, gazing down at the flowers I clutched. "Are those mine?"

I took a breath before holding out the flowers. He took them graciously, holding the perennials close. "Tweek?"

"Yes?"


	5. Chapter 5

**_READ THIS_****: Hey, If you didn't know, I uploaded the _wrong_ chapter for chapter 4 so... You might want to go back and read it. Lol.**

* * *

I was laying back in the love-seat uncomfortably as Stan went over my evaluations. It was a few hours before lights out and he forgot about my daily session. I told you that Stan wasn't organized.

"Tweek, let's talk about the past. Tell me about Craig." Stan tested the waters. Too bad I wasn't going to play his game. He knew the Craig subject was off limits.

"Craig humiliated me." I said simply.

"In what way?"

"I gave him a note. I overacted and I punched him a few times and they-" I stopped. "I don't want to talk about this."

"Just relax, I'm your friend."

"I don't ask you about your life. Just leave me alone." I spat.

He clicked his pen a few times. There was a long silence and the loud echo of the clock on the wall was the only noise in the room.

"Did you love him?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"He's the reason your here. You're incredibly violent urges and-" he folded his hands together.

"Why do you believe him? He blackmailed me! The only reason I plead insanity was because I didn't want to go to jail." I tugged at my hair. "He's lying. He lied to everyone. Why do you believe him?!" I shouted on the top of my lungs.

He wrote something down on his clipboard. "How was your mother and father?"

"Mom and Dad?"

I remember my mother, she was always by my dad's side and we were your average American family.

Mom and dad worked in their own café and sometimes it was hard to make ends meet. Sometimes it was stressful… Sometimes, I was forgotten. I don't blame them, neither do I hate them. They were just trying to make it work.

He nodded. "I see. They must be upset that you are here."

I didn't want to think about mom or dad right now. I blew off the question completely.

"And tell me about Kenny… Do you have feelings for him like you do for Craig?"

I felt my face flush as I babbled. "I-I like Kenny –ngh- he helps me through stuff too. He encourages me and Shelly and Butters to get better."

"And how does that make you feel?" he asked.

My eyes met his cold ones. "Loved."

A few hours later here I was. My day was boring. I missed out on rec room and there wasn't anything else to do but sleep.

I woke up an hour ago and now I'm up.

I looked up at the orange crayon before groaning. I reflected back to the flowers and Craig. I remember how he clutched them close to his chest smiling at me. Smiling.

I felt tears prick my eyes.

No. That's it. NO MORE REMEMBERING. I don't want to think about this anymore. I don't want to sit and dwell on it.

I felt more tears rolling down my cheeks.

Why can't I stop remembering? Is it that I'm a martyr for pain? That I want to put myself through this over and over?

There was so much more to the story. There were so many minutes of pain that spanned on for hours. I wish I couldn't have experienced.

I was brought back from my thoughts to see Kenny standing awkwardly in my doorway. "Get your clothes, we're breaking out of here."

"Oh god! What are you talking about?!" I twitched, hiding my face.

"I'm joking Tweekster." he flashed me his famous crooked grin. "I just wanted to see if you wanted to go visit the common room?"

"What's a common room?" I asked.

"What do you do after rec room?" He chuckled. "Jeez... Tweek, you really need to socialize."

I tried to speak but my voice came out in a squeak. I wiped my eyes furiously with the back of my hand.

Jesus Christ, too much pressure.

"Tweek?" he sounded concerned.

I gasped covering my eyes with my palms. When people asked me what was wrong it just made me cry more. "No, I'm fine."

I heard a bit of shuffling as his face was millimeters from mine. "No your not. I can see it written all over your face."

I let out a little laugh before I mumbled out. "Am I a bad person?"

Kenny brushed a few strands of my hair from my face. "Of course not."

I felt myself start to hyperventilate. Oh God, I was going to have a panic attack. If you don't know what a panic attack feels like... It's like someone gripping your heart and squeezing it like some kind of stress ball. You feel like you're dying and your brain agrees. It's the worst feeling in the whole world.

"You look like you need a hug. Do you need a great big hug?" he teased.

I let out a laugh before my breathing got a little out of control.

I felt his arms constrict around me. At first it was soft then it was like I held him for dear life. I needed a hug. God knows when someone hugged me last. He rubbed my back soothingly as I sobbed into his shoulder. He shushed me, whispering words of encouragement.

After what seemed like hours, I calmed my breathing and I instantly felt tired. He broke the hug glancing at me. "Come on let's get to that common room."

I grabbed his arm for support, getting to my feet. He lead me to a room that was just as big as the rec room except it was more along the lines of a lounge.

Another TV and a bird cage. I thought I had heard birds chirping somewhere. They were cockatoos too.

Butters was standing with a few people gossiping about before he spotted me and Kenny. "Hey guys!"

My eyes focused on the Styrofoam cup. Coffee.

"Where did you get that coffee?" I instantly perked up. "Tell me Butters!"

Butters pointed to the tiny nurses station timidly. I practically ran over there. I looked at the coffee maker. Yes! I was finally going to get some black liquid gold. Oh how I've missed it.

"What do you think you're doing Tweek?" I heard a familiar voice from behind me.

I twisted around to see Kyle glaring down at me.

"Coffee?" I said innocently as possible.

"You can't. Remember what Stan told you?" Kyle snatched the cup away effortlessly.

I growled, feeling a little rejected as Kyle made his way back at one of the walls watching us like hawks.

Kenny chuckled. "Foiled again? You don't need coffee to have fun." he pointed to the TV. "The game is on."

I didn't even notice him talking, I just focused on the black liquid in his cup. It was like serving drinks at alcoholic anonymous.

I looked at his cup longingly. The taste of coffee was exhilarating. Just one taste and I would be set in orbit.

Even the aroma sent me straight to heaven.

He noticed my ogling and spoke up. "I won't drink coffee anymore if you can't."

Kenny made his way to the trash can and threw it in the garbage. I beamed up at him.

That was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.

Then he said it.

"I want you to sneak out and see me tomorrow. My room isn't too far away from yours. Maybe a few doors down. I need to talk to you. It's important."

I blinked back the sudden shock. "Why can't you tell me here."

"Because, does a spy just tell the top secret information in a room full of witnesses? I want to talk to you in private."

I was utterly confused. "Oh, okay."

I don't know why, but the thought of sneaking out brought me back. I felt like a teeny-bopper sneaking out to her date in the driveway- uh, well that didn't sound right.

I was excited nonetheless.

* * *

I've always been a pessimist and a nihilist. I've always be been negative but that isn't really my fault. I think the environment shapes the person they are. It reminded me of the clay bowls in art class in kindergarten. You could shape them anyway you wanted.

Half the kids made ashtray-like bowls. I wonder what it had to say about them. I don't think my bowl made it. It probably blew up in the kindling machine.

I just thought to myself, if I was born five hundred miles away what I'd be like? Would I blow up in the kindling machine too?

Craig glanced in to my eyes with a wicked smile. "Twitch, you having problems?"

My coffee shook worse in my hands. "No. N-no Craig –ngh- I'm fine."

My busted lip began to shake and I couldn't get out what I really wanted to say.

We were at his house. Clyde, Craig, Token and me sat drinking beers watching Red Racer. They'd hit me in my arm playfully and joke around. We'd talk like nothing was wrong.

They would completely ignore the beating they just gave me. How hard they'd punch me. How I would scream when they'd run out of breath.

Token wasn't into it as much as Clyde or Craig. He always gave me two wallops while Clyde and Craig would punch me until I'd spit up blood.

Then they'd drag me up, brush me off and smile.

What is a life like that supposed to mean?

Nobody asked about the bruises or the blood that streamed down my face. No one gave a shit about Tweek Tweak.

I heard Kyle's voice trail in my ears.

I broke the intense stare with my grilled cheese sandwich and gazed over at Kyle.

"You look like you were thinking pretty hard there." He chuckled.

I cleaned the rest of my plate, switching the subject with ease. "Is it hard being a nurse?"

He shook his head before writing a few things on his clip board. "Sometimes, but I like helping people. Stan likes helping people too. It's nice to go home and feel like you've made a difference."

I smile at him. I knew he genuinely loved his job.

"Congrats Tweek, you got points, you'll leave here in no time."

I smile. So close.

So close to freedom.

I waited in my room until it was twelve at night. The nurses had probably just finished their nightly rounds. I got to my feet, cracking my room door.

Not a nurse in sight, I tip toed through the halls avoiding the nurse's stations. I saw a certain red head and a Craig look alike. I hugged the wall tightly.

Kyle and Stan stood at the end of the hallway. I hid in the shadows. I could over hear them.

"Stanley, come on. I'll drive you home tonight. I don't care if your house is a few minutes away, its cold man."

"Don't call me that dude. Only my mom calls me Stanley. Sheesh, if it's that big of a deal I'll ride with you."

I crept farther to his door, I cracked it, diving inside.

Kenny darted up from his bed. "No way, you really did it. You made it!"

"Shush. I don't want to get into trouble man."

"Oh right." he gestured to the other boy in the other bed. "My bunk mate is on sleep medication. He isn't going to wake up even if we tried."

"So why did you want to see me?"

"I dunno." he said simply.

I almost screamed. "What?! I snuck over here because I thought it was important."

"It was and now you're here, and everything is better. You proved to me something important."

I titled my head at Kenny as he grinned to himself. "Looks like we're stuck together amigo. I chose you."

"Chose me?"

I dunno what this guy even wanted from me.

"Tweek, the reason why I wanted you to come to my room was _because_ your so uptight. I told you I needed you and you came to help. You wouldn't usually do that right?" he said suddenly.

It was starting to make sense, I think? I nodded anyways.

"We're in this together. And if you ever need me, just find me. I'll help you through anything, I promise."

I was completely taken aback.

"So this was a test?" I asked curiously.

"And you passed."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 already? So, Tweek is starting to realize fists don't equal love.  
I hope you like this fanfiction, I'm quite proud of it. :D**

**I'm so excited to write more of this, I might update even sooner lol**

**Thanks again for the support, it really motivates me. :)**

* * *

Kenny and I had stopped in the common room after breakfast. The only reason I had drug him in there was because of the huge bird cage they had.

I love birds. If I didn't mention already, I had a cockatoo at home. I remember how my mom had surprised me one day with my little bird.

It was relaxing to hear them chirp... It reminded me of home. My birdie would bob his head when I talked to him. That little cockatoo was my only friend I think.

It was better than any type of cat or dog. They are way too much pressure.

Today was the day after I passed the 'test'. Kenny was treating me nicer than usual as we made little laps around the intuition. I need some exercise. I usually saw Stan walk the halls with Kyle on their breaks, I thought I would do the same.

Kenny poked his finger in the cage as the birds flapped their wings anxiously, causing a ruckus.

I had my eye on the grey cockatoo, it would twist it's head all around. It's feathers on its head rising and falling.

He exhaled noisily, stretching. "Butters is going through a break-through apparently. He's so lost. I kinda feel bad for him."

I let out a hum in response. I was completely transfixed with the small birds. I whistled lowly at them. They bobbed their heads to the melody. I hit a sour note and they started fluttering and zipping all around angrily.

I stood up, wiping the sweat from my forehead. It was usually cool in this place but it was oddly hot today. I tied my hoodie around my waist, fanning my face.

The someone must have been playing with the heater.

I took a fleeting look over to Kenny. He never took off his orange hoodie. Ever. I was curious if he even had a torso.

"It's kinda nice to meet someone who is normal for a change. I thought I was the only one."

"What are you going to do after you get out?" I blurted out.

Jesus Christ, I really need to think before I speak.

He shuffled, tapping his finger against his chin. "I'm not sure yet," he paused. "Tell you the truth, nobody really asks me these questions."

I nodded all too knowingly. Not a lot of people cared about me or my opinions. I really get tired of that but I guess you get used to people not asking. When some does on the off chance ask you, you get confused. The normality shattered and an awkward answer was sure to follow.

I wiped the sweat that collected off of my brow. "Aren't you getting hot in that hoodie?"

"A little. Why?"

"Why don't you take it off?"

"Nope." he said flatly.

"But I asked nicely." I crossed my arms pouting. "Why not?"

"Because, I _don't_."

"But Kenny, you'll sweat so much you'll dehydrate and die." I tugged at my hair. "Too much pressure. Don't do a Picasso on me!"

"Really Tweekster?" He fumbled with his zipper. "You owe me."

Kenny slipped off his jacket slowly. At first I noticed his dirty stained white shirt. Then I noticed it, I spotted the gauze. Clean, white gauze wrapped around his thin wrists.

Kenny... did that to himself?

I always thought about... offing myself as a dumb solution. Heck, maybe Kenny didn't even do that. I'm just making assumptions.

" You -Jesus Christ- sure do look nicer!" I tried sounding as optimistic as possible.

"You think so?" he threw his hoodie over his shoulder.

"You looked like a big orange marshmallow before." I teased.

He flashed a smile before turning his attention back at the birds.

I yawned to myself. I didn't sleep all last good night. I thought for sure I was going to get caught.

I liked just staring at the birds with Kenny. Everything in that moment was Zen.

In my head, the thoughts come to me in fragments and I can never place where exactly I am. Everything is rushed with me. I couldn't place how exactly I felt. Being next to Kenny was enough. I just wanted to be beside him for as long as possible.

Just like memories that haunt me, Craig flashed in my mind.

"Have you done something in the past you regret?" I felt my voice tremble just a little.

"Uh, everyone has something they regret. If you give a man a time machine I bet you my left hand he'd go back in time and change all the stuff he regretted." he shrugged. "I wouldn't."

"Why?"

"Because, the more suffering you go through the more you grow as a person. The more stuff you see while you're young the more you'll be prepared in the future. You'll mature into a strong person."

"Kenny are you feeling okay-"

"What I'm saying Tweek, guys like us seen a lot. And we're only going to get stronger. Those people that never got bullied or beat up, they're going to be weaker than us." he continued unwavering.

I looked into Kenny's eyes and I saw nothing. Absolutely nothing. It reminded me of Craig's eyes. Almost lifeless. Cold, lifeless, blue orbs. I felt a chill go up my back as Kenny reached out to me.

"Tweek?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin, flinching.

"Jesus dude. I'm not going to hurt you." he frowned, taking his hand away.

I shook my head before giving a little laugh. "You j-just reminded me of someone."

"Someone awesome I hope." I felt him nudge my side. "I heard you like cock-"

Jesus Christ! Too much pressure!

I covered my face as I flushed a bright pink. "WHAT?!"

"-atoos." he finished before bursting into laughter.

"Kenny, you're so mean!" I swatted his shoulder playfully.

"And you need a haircut." he rustled my cowlicks on my head.

"No you need a haircut!" I grabbed his shaggy hair, rustling it roughly.

He stumbled back laughing at me, his hands darting around my neck as he locked me in place. He dug his knuckle on my head lightly with his other hand. "I'll give you a nuggy you little brat!"

I heard a man clear his throat. We both twisted around to see Kyle with his arms crossed. "You guys behaving yourselves?"

"Ahem," Kenny stood straight up like a soldier, saluting. "No sir!"

Kyle hid a smirk, scratching the side of his mouth subtly. "Respect the no touch policy. I don't want you guys in trouble."

I slapped my forehead. It's the most important rule and I broke it. "I forgot."

"It's time to see Stan. Come on, I'll take you."

Kenny waved. "See ya at the rec room."

This session with Stan had gotten intense to say the least. I felt like throwing up I was so upset. I just wanted to run out of there.

Stan sat fiddling with his recorder before opening his mouth. "What exactly happened after you gave Craig flowers?"

"He accepted them." I said simply.

"Then?"

My mind always thought back to blue, back to Craig. I memorized how he'd be so gentle when we were alone. He's feather my bruises and cuts in kisses. I also memorized his fists. He was a brute but kind. I know, it doesn't make much sense.

"They acted as if everything was fine. They hung out with me and they'd _wrestle_ with me every once and a while but, I was happy. Craig was finally showing me attention... One day... I didn't think... They-"

I felt my mind wander back to that day.

He gave me a sly but loving grin. "Hey twitch, mind if we talk?"

Craig beautiful face contorted to an darker expression. I felt uneasy as I saw Clyde and Token who came inside not long after.

"Make this quick." Token stood by the entrance, his back to us.

I felt myself stepping back timidly before my back hit the wall. Craig and Clyde advanced towards me. I slid down, I just wanted to shrink up and disappear. I didn't feel safe with them so close.

"Cr-Craig!" I started to feel fists wailing down on my head. I felt my nose crush and I tried to claw away.

They kept beating me; no matter how much a cried out, Craig kept pounding and whipping his fists at me. He was nearly panting when he finally stopped.

He collected himself before he spat on me. "Faggot."

I remember lying there bloodied and broken.

Clyde heaved me up as my neck rolled every which way. I was punch drunk. I could barely move my body. I was numb all over. Everything felt unreal.

They brushed me off carrying me to their car, pretending everything was okay.

I remember Craig taking us back to his house. He shut the bathroom door loudly behind him as he he rustled through his drawers.

I plopped on the toilet, leaning into the wall beside me. The blood was pouring like a siv from my bottom lip. I watched it hit the ground and spread into an orange color.

Craig lifted my shoulders. "Tweek? Tweek, can you hear me?"

My eyes try to focus on him as they rolled behind my eyelids again. He held out a few cotton balls before dumping a conquerable amount of peroxide on it.

He shoved it on my lip as I hopped up, hissing in pain. "You're such a baby..."

I blinked back the nausea that I was feeling. The words left my mouth almost on instinct. "Craig, I love you."

He cleaned my lips, agreeing silently. "I know you do Twitchy."

I grabbed his cheeks tightly, I couldn't even control my body. I think they knocked my brain right out of my head. "I love you so much Craig."

He put the cap on the peroxide before peeling back my eyelids, checking my eye.

I closed the space between us, smashing our lips together. My teeth scrapping against his. I felt the peroxide numb my tongue, the taste of chemicals invaded my senses.

He broke the kiss, rubbing the bit of blood that smeared across his lips. "We need to stop this."

"Kissing?"

"Everything." he put the bottle back in the drawer. "At first I just beat you up so you got the hint that we didn't like you but you just kept coming back. You kept staying by me. I think your obsessed with me. It's unhealthy."

"But you like me Craig. You always kissed back." I let out a laugh. "You're just playing around."

"No, I'm not." he said, almost grunting out some emotion. "I don't like you Tweek. I hate you."

"You don't," I felt my face drop. "You don't mean that."

"Tweek, I hate you with every fiber of my being. You're clingy and nerdy and way too... twitchy. You're weird man, you need help."

I felt the anger bubble up in my chest as I darted into him, slamming us both into into the shower. I wrapped my hands around his neck. Slamming the back of his head into the tub. "You _never_ loved me!"

I screamed louder, forcing my weight on him. He writhed wildly under me, gagging and gasping for air. "You never gave me the respect I deserved! You never cared!"

...

I sat in the love-seat, my eyes bone dry as I told him with blank look on my features.

Stan made a face. "Tweek, that isn't love. You see what you want to in Craig. You're mourning over something that really wasn't there. A dream of what he wasn't, not who he was."

I felt my face drop as I covered my expression. So, in short I've been fantasizing?

Stan cleared his throat, stopping his tape-recorder. "I think we should end our session here."

* * *

I go to the rec room to see Kenny drawing with his mountain crayons. "Hey Tweekers."

"Hey," I mumbled. "Where's Butters?"

"Still in therapy. Tell me Tweek, what was your life like before all this? Did you have a girlfriend or a dog or something? What were you like?"

Jeez, he was talking about me like I was dead or something.

I counted the things on my fingers. "I was going to high school. I don't think girls even knew I existed. I had a cockatoo. I also had a job at my parent's cafe. I was very boring."

Kenny studied me close. "Don't move."

I noticed what he was doing. "Are you drawing me?"

"Like one of my French girls, mind if you flash me a bit of your nipple?" he joked.

I felt my face contort into a hurt expression. "Don't hurt me too Kenny."

"Eh?" he raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh nothing," I felt my teeth chatter. "I was just thinking out loud."

"Do you regret the stuff that happened in your past?"

He hit the nail on the head, like he could read my mind or something.

"I dwell on it so much. I just feel like a terrible person."

"What happened with you wasn't that bad. I've seen a lot of stuff too." he stopped sketching, his eyes darting to mine. "I can't die."

Did I hear him right?

"You don't believe me do you? I know I'm sane. I mean, I'm happy and sociable and..." I watched him rip the paper off crayon, staring at the table top. "I'm fine and I'm happy."

I touched his arm as he lifted his head. "I'll help you. You don't always have to put this all on yourself."

His finger tips grazed over my hand, clutching it. "I need that."

I felt him hold onto me tighter. His gaze never wavering from mine. I felt heat rush into my cheeks again as I glanced away nervously.

His features lit up again. "You should have seen your face when I said you liked cock-atoos!"

I covered my cheeks, moving away. "That wasn't funny Kenny!"

I heard the door creak open when Kyle escorted someone into the rec room. There was this heavyset guy that stood in the doorway.

I could faintly hear Kenny whisper out. "Oh no."

The new guy scanned the room before his eyes lit up. He made his way over to us before stopping in front of Kenny. "Well, well Kinny. Nice to see you're po' white trash face again."

His eyes widened as all the color drained from his face. "Cartman?"

"You're a friend of Kenny's?" I beamed. "I'm Tweek."

"We go way back, don't we?" he said innocently.

Kenny just sat there with a dazed expression. His bottom lip trembling as he gaped at the guy.

"I'm back from juvi, apparently I have some problems I need to work out. This place is such a spa. Do you have an empty room Kenny?"

"No." he spat.

"I'll miss bunking with you. We had so much fun together, didn't we?"

Kenny got to his feet suddenly before sweeping the papers and crayons on the floor in a fury. He slammed his fists into the table, glowering at Cartman. He started towards the door.

Kyle came hurrying towards him with a sedatives in hand. Kenny only shoved Kyle to the floor roughly.

He ripped open the rec room door, slamming it shut behind him.

Kyle got to his feet with the help of a few other nurses.

I covered my mouth in horror. I've never seen him do anything like that before.

"Poor guy. I guess I surprised him a little too much." he twisted back to me. "Do you happen to have a spare bed?"

"Oh, yeah-"

"Then I'll definitely bunk with you. You seem super kewl." his lips curled into a devious smile.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hai, I'm back with updates~! Fun fact: While editing this, I fell asleep on the keyboard. There were tons of pages of pure garble. :D**

**So... Chapter 7. What do you think of Tweek so far? Good, bad? I personally see him in the grey area. :3**

* * *

Dinner, my favorite time of day, to eat at least anyways. I was the hungriest near night; but before I could enjoy the succulent taste of chopped steak with a side of peas and carrots I had to help Cartman settle into his new room.

After five minutes being with this jerk, I'm annoyed with him.

Cartman let out a satisfied sigh, flopping on his twin sized cot. "so much better than juvi."

"So-"

"Let's get this straight right now. I'm here and your there. I don't want anything to do with you. I don't care what your name is or anything like that. Blah, blah, blah. Got it?" he narrowed his eyes at me.

Cartman got on my nerves. I'm already tired of him and his damn attitude too. He's always acting so high and mighty.

I held my growling stomach. I can't wait for dinner. I felt my mouth water again at the mere thought of steak.

He got to his feet, doing a gesture with his hands. "Screw you Tweek, I'm getting food."

"We got to wait for Kyle." I called out but he just kept walking, right out the door.

He left without another glance or word.

After a few minutes of sitting around, I gathered up my hoodie before sliding it on. I started towards the cafeteria. I guess Kyle wasn't going to come for us.

I took another left, going to peek in on the birds in the common room. I glanced over to the repairmen twisting wires and screwing in screws. You know, all that good repairmen stuff. The man wiped his forehead, turning to me.

He about jumped seeing me.

"Whoa, kid don't scare me like that! You're not supposed to be in here."

I blinked, almost forgetting I was in a mental institution. "Oh, well, sorry."

It's kinda of like you forget about the outside world when your cooped up somewhere for so long. I miss seeing other people. I wanna see other people than patients in sweats and nurses in scrubs.

I started hurring throght on of the hallways. I wondered why Kyle didn't come get me. I looked over to the clocks on one of the walls, I darted into another ward.

I don't want to get into anymore trouble.

I noticed something from the corner of my eye. An orange blur yanked me from behind into another room.

I took a quick look all around, I was in a storage closet?! I peeked up to the blonde boy.

"Ke-Kenny?" I said shyly.

"Tweek."

I noticed how worn-out he looked. He didn't seem like the same upbeat guy. He appeared sleepy and fatigued more than anything.

"You don't look so good."

He let out a sigh, before snatching me into a tight hug. I went red in the face, wrapping my arms around him. "Kenny what's the matter?"

I nuzzled his neck, feeling his chest rise against mine.

"I'm worried about you." I nearly whispered out.

He fumbled with his gauze before scratching at his head violently.

"Jesus Christ, Kenny!" I cried out, grasped his arms. "Stop!"

"It's him. I-I don't want you near him."

"Who? What are you talking about?"

"Cartman. He's a very disturbed kid. We were bunk mates when I first came here. I had major depression. And… we were friends, I trusted him. But one night he kept me up."

"What happened?" There was a long silence while Kenny avoided my eyes. "Tell me Kenny."

"He stayed up all night, whispering things to me." He unzipped his hoodie, throwing it to the floor, he lifted his shirt.

I felt myself go even redder. "Ke-Kenny! What are you doing?!"

He pointed to a long bubbled looking scar on his abdomen that spanned across and around to his back. "That was because of him."

"He made you do that?"

"The way he words things is cruel. Don't talk to him Tweek, don't even look at him."

I felt myself tremble, he seemed like he was speaking the truth.

"You have to promise me Tweek."

I nodded quickly, as he held the sides of my face.

"He's a sociopath with a superiority complex. I don't want anything to happen to you too."

I raised my hands to his entwining them. I smiling up to him bashfully.

Oh, right!

I broke away from him with an idea in mind. I dug in my sweat pants pocket holding up an orange crayon.

"Do you need it?"

He appeared taken aback, staring at the wax utensil. "Keep it close Tweek. You'll need it more than me."

I think he's surprised that I've kept it for so long.

Kenny and I finally got to the big cafeteria. I'm pretty sure there was little to no time for dinner.

I spotted Kyle waiting for me at a table, like a parent waiting for their teenage daughter to come home and she missed curfew.

"Where have you been?" he jumped out of his seat. "I had five nurses looking for you and Kenny!"

"I was just walking." I was completely shocked. Kyle was a hothead, but he never got angry at me quite like this before.

He gave me a skeptic look. "With Kenny?"

"Yeah, why not?"

Kyle reached into his pocket dragging out a walkie-talkie. "I found Kenny and Tweek. Cafeteria. Eight twenty-six PM."

I started to dig into my food, I didn't even care it was cold. I love steak.

* * *

Cartman and Craig, there was no difference. They both hurt people. They were cruel and vicious.

And I can't help taking a glimpse over at him as he shot me an annoyed look. I can't take him anymore. I stomped out of the small room and to the common room.

I shifted past a few people, making my way to the cages. I peeked seeing the grey cockatoo still lively.

I felt someone pinch my sides and i about jumped twenty feet in the air.

I twirled to see Kenny with his famous crooked smirk. "Hey, guess who I broght in?"

I saw the calmer girl standing next to him. It was Shelly. I thought she didn't have any privileges for a month.

She had a droozy smile plastered on her face while her eyes strugged to stay open. "Hey guys."

No shouting? "What's up Shelly?"

"They drugged me. Those... turds." she slurred.

"You got out with good behavior. I swear Stan is so easy to butter up."

I caught myself staring at Kenny. His smile was so nice.

"SHELLY!" A familiar boy's voice squeaked. Butter's clamped her in a hug. "I missed you!"

"...I missed you too Butters." she garbled out.

"Guess what? Stan said I'll be going home soon."

Kenny's face dropped. "Home?"

"Yup! I'll be starting college and getting a job! Just think, me going to college!"

"What happened?" I asked.

"I guess got another person in me. Stan's been talking to us talk to get myself back to only one me." He grinned happily. "And this 'Marjorine' is finally cooperating."

I nodded my head, I was completely confused.

Kenny shook his head. "There wasn't anything wrong with you in the first place."

Shelly sat down at one of the tables. Her head immediately slammed into the table.

I think we all looked at her with concern.

"Uh? You think she's on enough drugs?" Butters lifted her up before she flopped back on the table.

"Jesus Christ!" I twitched for the first time in what seemed like days.

"Well," Butters grinned up at us, ever the optimistic. "Were all together again."

"Yeah." I agreed, gazing over at the clock. "I'm going to bed."

"No, not yet! I just got here." Butters' pouted.

"I need the sleep."

Kenny grabbed my shoulder. "I'll walk you home then. Don't want you getting mugged on the bad side of town." he joked.

Kyle watched us like hawks from the other side of the room.

There was this uncomfortable silence when we were walking down the empty halls. Kenny's hand was creeping on mine.

He pulled me back, I stopped.

He kept looking into my eyes with this look. Before I could open my mouth to speak, I felt his warm lips on mine.

My mind was trying to process what was happening. I leaned in, pressing my chapped lips against his softer ones.

I felt his tongue brush against my lips. I let it inside with a meek sigh.

Soon I broke the kiss, before nuzzling into his forehead sighing.

It wasn't simple black and white.

We blended so much of the lines we ended up in a muck of grey. Neither knowing what was up or down. I don't think we cared.

I needed him just as much as he needed me.

It was so _right_ but so many levels of wrong. It was so wrong. So very, very wrong.

I grinned, I finally felt wanted and satisfied again. This hope built up in my chest. I felt alive again.

Kenny backed away, putting his hands up. "That didn't happen."

Oh no. Jesus Christ, not again. No. No. No.

"Ken-"

"You stay the hell away from me." he hissed. "I don't ever want you near me again."

I felt my heart crush.

He went stomping off in another direction.

My mind taunted me, orange never mixes well with blue.

I tried to reflect on everything up until this point. I dragged my feet into my room see Cartman laying out on his bed playing on a handle held. I don't even think they were allowed. I sat on my bed putting my head in my hands.

"What's wrong with you fag? You got sand in your vagina?" he sneered.

"I can't believe how much of a fool I've been."

He continued to mash buttons.

"This whole time I've been worrying about my past, I never considered how I felt right now. I'm not going to even leave this place for two years. I mean, I was found not guilty but this has been following me this whole time. Craig and everything else."

Cartman wasn't even listening.

"If I really am insane and if I really do have a problem, I accept it. I've never felt so empty before in my whole life. How many times am I going to get hurt."

"Then go hang yourself." he said bored. "Or whatever, does it look like I care?"

I held the crayon close to me.

"What's with that crayon? What are you five?"

"Kenny gave it to me." I clutched it closer.

"Kenny you say?" his interest was piqued.

"Yeah... he told me that warm colors keep people happy..." I scowled at the utensil. "I don't even know what I'm doing with this. It's just another lie."

I snapped the crayon in half.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hai, so there's been a bit of difficulties and stuff~!** **I lost some of what I did but I prevailed! :D**

**Oh, if you didn't know, since I put in Tweek's room being pink and the 'anger room', drunk-tank pink is a color used to calm and relax. It's especially used in institutions and prisons. The more you know, right?****  
****And Lethe is the river of forgetting in Hades.**

**So here, chapter 8.**

**I tried to make it exciting~!**

* * *

That whole incident, I really don't know what to think. I don't know how I got so close.

There are so many things I don't understand. I know there are things wrong with me, I know that I have an unhealthy obsession with Craig. I'm just tired people babying me.

Oh how I would love to bath in the river of Lethe and forget my troubles.

I didn't really want to go to the recreation room. I didn't want to do too much of anything.

I ate quietly at my table. Kyle said he didn't need to observe me anymore and I was happy for that. That meant I didn't need someone breathing over my shoulder every time I didn't scrape my plate clean, _excuse me_, lick it clean.

I love those protein shakes they gave me. I was always looking forward to those... that and steak.

Nothing compares to coffee though. I miss coffee like some kind of beautiful mistress. Oh, coffee, I miss your allure and the shakes I would get after the fifteenth cup.

I miss how warm you'd make me feel after drinking a pot. Oh, coffee...

I shot up when Cartman parked himself beside me. I was pulled right out of my coffee drinking fantasies! I instantly felt nervous. "AGH! CARTMAN!"

"Jesus, calm down spaz."

"What are you doing here?"

"Eating next to you." he rolled his eyes. "Okay, I lied. I need something from you."

"What?" I asked, a little anxious. "What do you need from me?!"

"I want my own room; I want you to fake a fight with me here."

"No, I like my room." I turned my attention back at my protein shake. The best meal supplement ever.

Cartman watched me from the corner of his eye. "Oh? And do you want me to hurt Kenny?" he mocked lowly. "I'll break him."

"Don't you touch him." I whipped my head at him, glowering.

He dug his sausage fingers into the apple, juices pouring out of the 'wounds'. "I'll make him bleed." he smirked almost malevolently. "He's weak. He'll beg for mercy, but I'll make him suffer."

I got to my feet in a rage, placing my hands around Cartman's fat neck. I slammed him down onto the ground. I almost saw Craig, the way his eyes bulged and his face had that distinct hue of purple. I whipped his head into the floor.

Craig gripped at my arms, tears streaming from his eyes as I hovered over him, strangling all the life from him. My hands never shaking and my expression cool as ever.

Kyle heaved me off of Cartman and a few other nurses twisted my arms behind my back, restraining me. I was dragged out of the cafeteria, I saw a glimpse of Cartman sickening smile. I only writhed more as they led me down a hallway.

Kyle gave me a small push into a room before slamming the door behind me. My head twisted in all directions.

The pink room.

No.

I felt a sense of extreme alertness. I felt the walls before thrashing into them and shrieking as loud as I could.

I slammed my fists on the only door out, crying out. I slid down the walls curling up into a ball.

The pink radiating off the walls didn't calm me, it only made me more anxious.

Welcome back to the beginning of my story.

* * *

The next day Stan entered the room. I laid on out on the small twin cot. "Are you ready to go back?"

I let my eyes wander over the walls. Drunk-tank pink. Pink for the insane. Pink for the angry.

"I don't care." I said blandly.

"You'll need a new bunk mate since your episode with Cartman."

"How am I put into all of this? Cartman is the one who got violent." I sat up. "He's the one starting all of this."

Stan held out arm and leg restraints. "I don't want to put this on you. Anymore violent outburst and, or danger to my patients, I will take action."

I mustered up my most defiant stare. "You really think I am a danger?"

"You smothered Cartman."

I gave up. I slid off the bed as Stan led me down the halls. I wonder where I would bunk now. I was really starting to like my new bed then that fat bastard had to steal it away.

I trailed behind Stan. I heard his walkie-talkie go off. It sounded a lot like Kyle. "I need to use 'chemical restraint'. NOW."

Stan lifted the small device to his mouth. "No, absolutely not."

"It's Kenny, he's lost it. He's in the rec room causing chaos." Kyle said almost nervously. "A lot of people are getting hurt over here."

"What level of danger?" he started to pick up his pace to a brisk trot as I dragged behind.

"Extremely high! Like, the highest danger there can be!"

"Right, I'll be there. Administer the medicine as needed." Stan twirled on his heel. "Go back into the pink room, I'll retrieve you after this is done."

He took off down the hallway. For someone who looks like they are near there thirties can really run when they want. I blew him off, taking the longer route to the rec room. Every nurse's station was empty and every patient was also gone.

It was like a ghost town.

There was a lot of commotion going on. I heard screaming and shouting. I could hear loud cries and yelling coming from one man. I saw blood smeared hand prints all over the hallway.

Butters hurried to my side. "It's Kenny, he's gone insane. You gotta stop him."

It was like some kind of crime scene and a fight at the same time. Nurses tried to hold back the anxious and excited patients cheering and booing Kenny.

Even though of how much I was blessed with how tall I was I couldn't see through the people that crowded the rec room entrance. I stood on my toes, seeing Kenny punching at anything that came too close to him.

He saw another nurse coming closer as he decked her in the mouth. I saw Stan hurrying over to the nurses trying to corral him.

Stan shouted over all the commotion. "Did you give him sedatives?!"

Kyle dodged another berserk motion from Kenny. "I've given him enough! That's enough to put down an elephant!"

It reminded me of lions corralling a bleeding gazelle from those animal shows. I knew Kenny wasn't going to win this. There were too many nurses and only one him.

Kenny was bleeding like a siv from his arms, the gauze now gone from his wrists. He panted, watching the nurses encroaching around him.

Kyle reached out to seize him but just as he extended his arms, Kenny bit down. He only drew more of the maroon color out. Kyle yipped out, yanking away.

I pushed passed the people and ducked through the nurses blocking the entrance. I ran towards him with outstretched arms. "Kenny,"

I felt another nurse grab me as I called out to him. "Stop it! S-stop!"

Kenny stopped in his tracks, his gaze shifting to mine. His nostrils still flaring. It was like he was brought out of his rage... I could only assume.

Kyle, Stan and even the remaining nurses tackled him down to the ground placing him in restraints.

The nurse that seized me up, still had me in hold. I writhed. "Let me go. That's my friend."

"Get out of here."

I was pushed back behind all the other patients like some sort of kid. I noticed Cartman not too far away, leaning against the wall.

"I didn't know Kinny was such a ticking time bomb."

"Did you do this?"

"What if I did?" his eyes glinted. "I wanted to see if he really couldn't die."

I felt myself grab out for his neck, I had to stop myself. He waggled his finger. "Do you want to be treated like him?"

The paramedics arrived, placing Kenny on the stretcher. I watched as he was rushed out of there. Even a few nurses had to be patched up. Kyle especially.

I walked up to Stan. I needed to know where I was sleeping tonight. I wasn't going to the pink room that's for sure. I hate that place way too much.

Kyle hissed, gripping his arm close. "He bit me."

The paramedic pressed on. "You need to come with us."

"It's just a bite." he rubbed it gingerly. "I'm fine."

"Tetanus, AIDS, hepatitis... all kinds of germs are spread by the mouth." Stan spoke up.

"Will you come with?"

Stan nearly paled at the sight of ambulances. "Dude, you know I hate hospitals."

Kyle's head drooped before he spoke up. "I'll go by myself-"

"No, I'll have one of the nurses on staff take care of everything. I'll go with you." he gave Kyle a grin.

I swear those two were flirting so hardcore they didn't even notice me standing right there.

I tugged on Stan's shirt almost like a child would. He turned, his face contorting to disappointment. "And you... You didn't listen to me."

"Can't I keep my room?" I asked timidly.

"Absolutely not. I'll have you stay with..." He scanned the room. "Butters!"

Butters hand popped up through the crowd. He parted through the people. "Yeah?"

"Didn't that Bradley get released a few days ago?" Again, another example of Stan's brilliant organization. "Kenny is going to be your new bunk-mate for a few days."

The crowd around us was starting to fade off and the excitement died down.

Butters clapped his hands happily. "Aww, well, that'd be great. Me 'nd Ken here are good friends." He pointed down the hallway. "I'll show you now."

Before I had a chance to speak, he tugged me down the hallway. "Should we make sure Kenny is okay?"

The blonde looked over his shoulder at me sweetly. "Kenny is in good hands."

He halted from his little jog in front of a door. They were all identical. Each had a little number and marker written out which patient was there.

He knocked on the door, pushing it open. "Um, this is my room."

It was a simple room. Butter's side had tons of stuffed animals and papers hanging up on his wall.

I picked up a stuffed teddy on Butters' bed. "Where did you get these from?"

"Aw, shucks, well my parents come nearly every few months with presents. They say when I get out though I'm grounded. I'm always gettin' grounded." he scuffed his shoes.

How long has it been since my parent have come to see me? Weeks? Months? Longer? I felt a slight pang in my chest.

I held a little plush bear close to me. Hell, I needed some type of reassurance, even if it's from a teddy bear. "Cartman did this... did you see anything happen before he went into a rampage?"

Butters' face changed slightly as he tore the teddy away from me, placing it back on his bed. He didn't like that at all. "He had a meltdown for some reason. One moment he was fine and the next his there was blood everywhere. I didn't see much of anything."

"Jesus Christ." I sat on the edge of my bed.

Butters covered his cheeks happily almost like a school girl. "I miss Bradley. he was really nice and cute~!"

"Majorine?"

Butters, I mean, _Majorine_ replied in a hum.

Jesus Christ.

Days turned to weeks and I waited for Kenny.

I waited everyday for Kenny to come back to the rec room. Shelly and Butters had no idea where he was. I asked and asked and begged Stan to tell me where he was but he never told me.

The opposite of orange is blue.

The opposite of Kenny is Craig.

Why do I even care anymore?


	9. Chapter 9

**:D Hai,**

**So what do you think of the story so far? I personally think Tweek is a loony guy but he's like that on the show anyways. Cartman can be a meanie…**

**Thank you for everyone who has lent me support by leaving a review, a fav or even following along by reading the story… You guys make this all possible! :D**

* * *

I parted the blinds on the picture window in the living room. I saw the flashes of red and blue lights. I knew this day was coming, it was only a matter of time. I heard light taps from the stairs. I twisted my neck to see my mother rubbing her eyes tiredly. "Honey, what are you doing?"

"Mom... I'm sorry." I felt the words come out weakly.

There were a few noisy knocks at the door before a voice spoke up. "Tweek Tweak?"

My mouth gaped but the words never came. My father interrupted me, giving a skeptic look. "Are they calling for you?"

A few moments later the door flung open, police officers armed, pointing their weapons me. "Get on the ground, now." I got to my knees, placing my hands behind my head. "Are you Tweek Tweak?"

"Y-yes." Oh God, too much pressure!

Another police officer crept in, cuffing me.

I felt nausea overflow my being as they drug me to my feet. The briefly searched me before treading with me in tow right out of the house. I could hear the cries of my mom and the look of disappointment on my dad's face.

"What are you doing with my baby?!" she cried out.

Without another word, they led me down the steps of my house and to the police car. One officer held the door open and the other pushed me inside, not even helping to duck my head.

I bashed my head on the top of the door. I felt pain radiate through my body and my temple began to pulse.

I became aware of the people coming out of their houses and surrounding the police car. I bowed my head in shame.

That was the day I was taken from my house

I blinked back the memories, hissing to myself. I started to take longer strides. It was like I was trying to run away from my memories. I made another lap, peeking over at the two men gathered around the nurse's station.

Kyle was lounging against the wall while Stan stood in front of him, seducing him off his feet... Okay, I added the 'seduced' part. Those two just seem like they like each other way too much.

Jesus Christ, those two need to get together.

I was exhausted today. Butters had a habit of talking in his sleep and when he started he didn't stop. It was really annoying.

I haven't seen a hint of Kenny anywhere. I wandered the halls, just wanting to get a glimpse of him.

To tell you the truth, I missed him. He was like my best friend and… I did have feelings for him.

I felt really empty on the inside but I can't help it. Craig treated me like a piece of meat anyone could just punch or sleep with whenever they felt like it. Kenny was still a bad guy in my book. He would do the same thing Craig did if he had the chance.

I was making laps around the building. From one nurses' station, to a hallway to another nurses' station. It was like a big loop and each ward held different people. Guess where I had been? From what I had heard, I was in the ward for 'extra attention'.

In other words, extremely dangerous.

Where Butters' ward was... well, it was for the kiddies. Patients with of little to no danger.

I huffed to myself. Two hundred and seventy-six times around here and my feet aren't even sore yet.

I started another lap before I heard someone call my name. Stan waved me over to him. "Come over here, Tweek."

I stopped my brisk pace, glancing over at Stan. "AGH! Y-yes?"

The two were holding cups, presumably with that heavenly coffee.

Stan nudged Kyle. "Give him some already. He looks like a zombie."

"What?" I could only hope…

Kyle had a large smile spreading across his face before grabbing the handle of the coffee pot. "Tweek go get a Styrofoam cup."

I about hopped up in joy. "Really?! Me? Coffee? Is this a joke?!"

Stan let out a snicker. "Whoa dude, don't give him too much."

I snatched a cup up, lingering for a moment for Kyle to pour me up a big cup of coffee. I missed my coffee mug that had in big letters, 'Java Jockey'. I dunno what it meant but it had java in it.

Kyle gave me a serious look. "Be good. No choking out people or causing fights."

"Promise." I said speedily. I about jumped out of my skin, I wanted it now.

I saw the black liquid fill the cup, the whiff of coffee filled my senses.

Jesus Christ.

I lifted the cup to my lips letting the scolding hot liquid touch my mouth. My tongue must have gotten weak to the heat, it burned my taste buds but left a taste behind.

I sighed in bliss.

Stan's grin spread watching me. "Shouldn't you be going to the rec room?"

I let out a quick hum in agreement, gripping my cup closer to me. "I-is Kenny coming back soon?" He was quiet. "Is he at least still at this place? I really need to see him."

Stan shook his head. I wasn't getting anything from him.

I made my way to the rec room.

I sat back in a chair, humming to myself. Shelly and Butters chattered beside me. I looked on, barely listening to what they were saying.

I wish I had the strength to continue on but I just can't. They say once you hit rock bottom that's it but it's like I was falling and falling crashing through any bottom there was.

My eyes flickered to the crayons lying out in front of me. The lone orange was laid out, I reached out for it, uncertain. I restrained myself, sitting back. I didn't need him.

I didn't need orange or blue.

Shelly swayed in happily to herself. "I got a golden ticket guys~! A few more days and I get to go home, just in time to start high school." she held up the slip.

"What?!" Butters practically screeched. "You can't leave Shelly everyone really likes you now."

"Oh, now?" she rolled her eyes. "Thanks turd."

"If we do get separated, we'll give each other our information that way when we all get out of here we'll stay in contact." I felt a wide smile grace my face. "I'll invite you guys out for a drink or two."

Butters shuffled his knuckles before speaking up. "I- uh- I'm too young to drink. I don't want my parents to ground me."

Shelly placed her fingers on the bridge of her nose. "Why does Tweek gotta be the voice of reason around here? Why does he have to be the _normal_ one?"

I was happy, but kinda sad at the same time. I'd be all alone soon.

I was brought back from my thoughts when a particularly fat boy sat beside me. I glowered in his direction.

"What?" he spoke up.

"What are you doing here?" Butters glanced over shyly.

"Checking out the sights." he spat sarcastically before turning his attention back to me. "Guess who I saw in the hall on the way here, Tweek?"

"Who?" I asked.

"You're faggy boyfriend."

I brightened.

Shelly inquired. "You mean Kenny?"

Cartman spat back. "Was I talking to you bitch?"

She gave him one of the most ferocious glares I've ever seen before, she took a few breaths, counting back from ten.

The doors were opened slowly and Kyle wheeled someone in.

In that split second, I was almost in tears.

I've never seen something quite so broken. Kenny's face was pale and he was leaning to one side. He didn't make a noise nor did he notice us around him. His eyes were blank, looking at the ground. He was broken. His will, his soul, every piece of Kenny was broken.

Cartman admired his handy work.

"He hasn't said a word, why don't you guys try to cheer him up?" Kyle touched his shoulders slipping out of the room.

He sat in a stupor with a sort of lost expression.

"I'm glad your back Kenny." Shelly reached around his neck, giving him a tight hug. He just continued to stare into space.

Something was _very_ wrong with Kenny.

Butters fumbled through his papers. "We were waiting for you for so long we made you a card. I brought it every day just in case."

He lifted the card to his hands, but they never budged once.

"Dontcha wanna see it?" he flipped it open. "That's you and me and there's Shelly and Tweek. We're flying an airplane!"

Nothing.

Shelly crossed her arms, hiding a worried expression under her facade. "Hey turd, someone is talking to you."

"He looks catatonic." Cartman said, observing him closely.

He didn't move a muscle. I didn't even see him blink. Not even once. This Kenny was hurt. Something Cartman did made him this way, I just knew it. He didn't stir when I leaned beside him.

"I know I'm the last person you want to see but," I handed him my coffee, folding his hands around it. "Take this. I-It'll warm you up."

Still nothing. Not even noticing my presence at all.

I let out a shaky sigh, turning to Cartman. "See what you did?"

Cartman shrugged with a perplexed expression. "I didn't do anything."

"Don't act innocent."

Butters slammed his hands on the table, standing up. "Alright, I-uh, I'm tired of hearing you complain about Cartman. Just shut your mouth 'nd sit down."

I twisted all around looking at Butters then at Shelly. She silently agreed with Butters.

I took my seat while Cartman eyes glinted with something. I didn't notice it then but Kenny's eyes shifted to him.

* * *

I sat in a daze, watching the clock's hands inch onto the eight. I scooted back into the love-seat.

It had been a few days and nothing exponentially had happened. I was sitting in Stan's office. I decided to tell him what happened to Kenny since no one else would listen. He would have to... That was his job.

"Cartman," Stan wrote something down on his papers. "He's done mental damage on Kenny? Do you have proof?"

"Yeah, it's on his stomach. That scar, he told me that he made him do it."

"Well," he sat slid back in his seat. "He needs to talk. Kenny hasn't spoken within the past few weeks."

I noticed the look in Stan's eyes. This wasn't going to be an easy task. He needed hard evidence.

"Do you want to talk about anything else?" he asked timidly.

I shook my head quickly as Stan pressed the stop button on his tape recorder. "Right, have a good night."

I stepped out of the door walking down the hall to see Cartman. He glowered at me before he slammed me against the wall with his arm to my neck.

I sputtered, it was completely out of the blue. "You're going to expose me? YOU?" he murmured out.

I coughed, shrinking into the wall, trying to breathe. I let out a growl. "You're not getting away with this."

"Why do you even try? You know I'm going to win. I'll get you kicked out of here. Say goodbye to that faggy boyfriend."

I grunted, feeling him pres on my Adam's apple, it made me was to cough so bad but he just pushed more of his weight onto me.

"I don't know why there is someone like you around here. You're worthless."

"Me?" My eyes widened.

"Nobody loves you not even Kenny. He's silent because you broke him. I saw you smacking lips together. He rejected you rather quickly. Probably because of how insignificant you are."

"No, I..." I felt my mind waver as his pressure against me eased up.

"You broke him and he can never be fixed."

"I didn't do anything."

"You're worthless Tweek that's why you're here. Why don't you just kill yourself and do us all a favor. Here," he grinned holding out a screw and a few other random sharp objects he'd been collecting. "I'll help you. This piece looks sharp."

I held in tears.

"I've read your file. Stan is rarely in his office, you see? You almost strangled someone who never loved you. You constantly obsess about that boy. You tell yourself opposite of blue is orange." he grinned. "...Oh, Tweek I know you far more then yourself."

I covered my ears with my hands. "Stop it!"

"You choked the poor boy. His friends drug you off of him and you were charged with attempted murder. You begged the court for mercy... 'please, let me go it was all a mistake. Please, oh please'."

I let out a cry.

"They found you mentally unstable. You were messed up from the start, see Tweek? You did this to him and now you'll live with it the rest of your life."

I let out a scream going into a panic attack.

"Oh, let me taste your tears, Tweek!" he squealed evilly. "Tears of unfathomable sadness."

Stan cracked opened his door, poking his head out. "What are you two doing?"

"Nothing." Cartman said sweetly.

I cried and sniveled and shrieked. "I need to get out of here!" I pushed through Cartman before hurrying down to the common room.

My mind flashed back to those painful memories. All those things I wanted to forget came rushing back like a tidal wave of emotion. Everything I wanted to repress came back, it was like someone itching a scab. It was just hurting worse.

I hurried to Shelly's side, panting and gasping for air. "What is it?"

"You have to help me! It's Cartman, he did this to Kenny. I can prove it." I begged trying to squeeze back tears.

"Again with this?" She sighed. "I can't help you. I don't want any more anyways drugs. I can barely function now."

I moved over to Kenny's side.

"Please Kenny, please wake up?"

Nothing.

"I need you. It's Cartman, you were right. You were so right."

Nothing.

"Stan doesn't believe me. I need you to tell them what he did to you. You have to help me. You told me that you'd help me through anything! You gave me that goddamn crayon so I wouldn't die, well I don't have it anymore."

I gripped his shoulders shaking him. "But your here. Please say something already!"

The nurses were hurrying to my side.

His eyes wandered to mine, still limp and lifeless.


	10. Chapter 10

**:D So the shtuff really hits the fan in this chapter!** **You know what they say about good things... They must end too. Sadly, this story is almost at its peak.**

**We learn more about Kenny and Cartman.**

* * *

I pushed against the office door cautiously. The door scraped open, I peeked inside to see Stan pouring more whisky into his glass. "Jesus, I worry about that Tweek." He lifted his glass, drinking it down with a single gulp.

I never knew he drank like a fish.

"Yeah, he's just odd lately ever since that guy Cartman showed up. The poor guy, his story sounds so tragic. Constantly rejected, looking for love everywhere he goes." Kyle held his arms around himself. "I just want to hug that little guy."

"Yeah, you shouldn't." Stan barked back.

"Why?"

"Because I'm the one that hugs you." an almost child-like jealousy sounded apparent in his voice.

Kyle rolled his eyes, plopping himself on the tiny space of chair left. "Dude, I've been like your secretary-nurse-maid for like what, three years? I think I see a connection."

"Nurse-maid?" he about dropped the bottle of whiskey in his grip, laughing to himself.

"I know who keeps the house dirty. I have to clean up after _your_ messes." Kyle crossed his arms, pouting out his bottom lip.

"I didn't ask you to do my dishes."

I knocked on the door loudly before slipping inside.

"You called for me?"

Kyle shot up from the chair as Stan brushed himself off, putting away his alcohol. "Sit."

"Stan, what's going on?" I pulled at my hoodie's collar. "Why do you look so angry?"

"Tweek," Stan rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You might be transferred to a better institution with more _attention_."

I felt my voice hitch in my throat. I held my chest close. "No, I'll be better! I'll be better! I promise you I'll be good from now on."

"You've violated rules on multiple occasions," Stan sighed out loud. "You are much more than I can handle then I originally thought."

"I can't leave just like that." I could feel my bones shake and raddled as I pled on. "Stan Please, I'm begging you. I'm so sorry please, let me stay here."

Stan ran his fingers through his hair. "Look, I'll make a few calls but... This is your last chance. I can't have these violent with yourself... and my patients."

"I won't."

"That means any outbursts or anything, your gone. I need you to focus on controlling yourself and who you are. Find yourself Tweek, please."

I bowed my head in shame. "I will."

Stan rubbed his eyes. "Right. I'll see you around here."

I got to my feet, walking out of the door.

I needed to clear my name. There was only way I thought back to the recorder on Stan's desk. I wonder if I could just sneak in and take it without them knowing. I'd grab it and record Cartman's confession.

I did my day like any other. Smiles and laughter. I tried to seem as positive as ever.

I was currently sitting in rec room as Butters drew with a blue crayon. I touched his shoulder. "You know, you should stick with the warmer colors."

"Why?" he asked curiously.

"Because, they make you happy." I felt my smile slip into a frown. "Because you'll miss the warm colors when they're gone."

He tilted his head curiously. "Are you getting upset about colors again?"

I smiled, letting out a little laugh. "yeah, I know it's silly. I just love warm colors."

Kenny was wheeled in by Kyle. I felt myself smile. I was going to fix this Kenny, just you wait.

I snuck out of rec room with little to no effort. I lied and told them I needed to use the restroom. How stupid could they be?

I yanked the door open as I slipped inside shutting it promptly. Kyle and Stan were nowhere to be seen. Probably on their lunch break. They do everything together anyway.

I snuck into Stan's room and looked at the recorder sitting on the desk, just begging me to snatch it up. I held it in my hands smiling.

I heard the door squeak open and I slinked under the desk. Hopefully he wouldn't find me. I held my mouth so I wouldn't make as noise.

I gasped seeing feet brush inwards. I shrunk up against the desk. I heard a laugh then a few strange smooching noises.

Were they kissing? What's going on?

"Kyle, go sit your ass down." Stan chuckled. "I gotta get to work unlike some people."

"Mmhmm, I got such a fun job."

"You have the best part, restraining and sedating."

"Yes, well who wants to go to school for that long to be a psychiatrist?" I could just see Kyle sarcastic smile. "I gotta make my night rounds."

"See ya."

I heard the door open then close. They'll find I'm not there and I'll be in so much trouble! Gah, too much pressure!

I sat under that cramped little desk for at least fifteen minutes tops. Stan kept fumbling with papers. I prayed he would just leave already.

I heard Stan's walkie-talkie buzz. "Tweek is missing!"

Stan stirred, getting to his feet. His footsteps getting farther away. "What?!"

After his voice trailed away, I peeped up. I grabbed the recorder closer to me, sneaking out of the room.

I panicked. Where was I going to put this big rectangular shaped piece of junk? I tried my hoodie's pockets, they weren't too deep and the impression was noticeable.

I looked down at my sweat pants. I gotta take on for the team. I shoved the machinery down my... Well, you get the idea right?

I walked calmly like I didn't have a recorder down my pants until Kyle found me. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Walking." I said simply.

He shook his head. "Look, I won't tell Stan. Just get to bed okay?"

I complied before hurrying inside my room.

* * *

Cartman was sitting by himself at lunch. He had already stuffed down all of his food I presume. He sat rubbing his stomach happily.

I grinned evilly. I got you now bastard.

I fingered with the buttons of the recorder in my hoodie pocket. I clicked it on, I could hear the slight sound. It was recording.

I plunked next to Cartman. "Cartman, can we talk?"

"You're going to take up suicide? About time." he said quiet rudely.

"Tell me about Kenny." I asked politely.

"What do you want to know?

"How you broke him."

"Why do you wanna know?" He eyed me skeptically.

"I want to know. He's my best friend."

"Best friend?" He scoffed. "You two are blindly gay. Kenny had what was coming to him. He isn't what you think he is."

"What is he?"

"Kenny is literally insane. He says he's died thousands of times and that he's basically a God. He's done bad things too. He'll be here until he dies or worse."

"He… hurt people?"

"You want proof go into Stan's office, rummage through his drawers and find the file."

"Stop stalling and tell me that you hurt him."

"I would but I know you have a recorder in your pocket." his eyes narrowed towards me.

I growled as he walked off. I clicked off the button.

My curiosity was getting the best of me. What was in his file? Kenny never told me anything.

I killed time standing around, waiting to make my move. I lurked around until Stan and Kyle left the office. I suppose to go on the brisk walk around the nurse's station. He never even locked the door.

I creaked the door open, before tip toeing inside. I slinked my way to Stan's desk. I fumbled through junk until I pulled out a long cabinet of files. I fingered through the manila folders to see, 'Kenny McCormick'. I pulled out the file. I looked through the folder.

There was a picture of Kenny. He's face was bruised and cut. He was holding up a little sign with numbers on it. I realized it was his prison photo.

I fumbled with a few sheets noticing scores of various tests. "IQ of 140?" I blinked in surprise. Kenny was borderline super genius.

I examined his criminal records close. They spanned on and on. Assault, battery, public intoxication, vigilantism, breaking and entering, trespassing… I read over the last words carefully. "Murder."

From what I read, I put the pieces together. I pictured what happened during the trial.

A man was ruthlessly killed and the blood was on his hands.

Kenny probably sat there with a blank look like he does now. is heart would be pounding like mine did. His palms would be sweating as the victims of the man would stand behind him. The jury would be looking at him, as if he were already guilty.

They would go over the defense and his attorney would tell him to act like he didn't know anything. He said that he had a trick up his sleeve.

Apparently halfway through the trial, he got to his feet and plead guilty. He plead by reasons of insanity. That he had no control over his actions because he was mentally ill.

That's just how I thought it played out anyway, with my experiences anyways.

He was found guilty but mentally ill. If you don't know what that means, it means he'd serve out here at the institute here until he was deemed cured.

He was only allowed to stay here until he was well enough to be imprisoned. From the report he'll never get out. He'd never get out of prison.

He would sit in jail until he'd wither away.

I scanned over Stan's notes briefly. I read the word carefully.

'Undifferentiated schizophrenia?' with a circle around it.

Stan must be just as confused as I am.

I got curious, I went looking for my file. I searched and searched but I couldn't find it. That's weird, but maybe Cartman had it or maybe...

I inspected over to Cartman's file. I only had time to read the tiny name tag written at the top of the manila folder. One of the middle names were abbreviated. I thought Erick was spelt , 'Eric'.

It read: Erick Theodore W. Cartman.

Erick... T. W. Cartman... What kind of name is that?

I readied to open it but I was interrupted. I heard the door open suddenly. Stan took a quick look over to me with Cartman standing beside him.

"I told you Stan, he's been stealing your stuff." he sneered.

I felt like a kid found cheating on his test. I backed into the bookcases behind me, feeling myself shoot up.

"Tweek… you of all people?" Stan seemed like my father in that moment. Disappointment was all over his face.

I let out a tiny sigh. "You caught me."

Stan seized me in his grip, I cried out. He did it too rough at least for me to handle.

Stan snarled, very angrily. "That's it Tweek. I have to resort to extreme measures. I didn't want to do this."


	11. Chapter 11

**Only a few find the way, some don't recognize it when they do - some... don't ever want to. - The Cheshire Cat.**

* * *

A crazy man never admits he's crazy. But I can rationalize I'm not crazy or insane or whatever.

I don't even guess myself. I know I'm not. Why is everyone treating me that way?

I shifted in my restraints. I was huffing and puffing, when I got out of this I was going to kill him. I would kill Cartman. My eyes darted around the pink room as I started wiggling in the white jacket.

I was going to squeeze his throat until his eyes popped right out of his head.

I squirmed so much I landed on my side. I heard you can break out of a straight jacket if you dislocated your shoulder. For a moment, my brain thought of actually doing it.

Stan came into the room sometime before, I glowered up at him. "Take this off now."

"Will you behave? Correct you behavior?" he inquired.

I nodded quickly, controlling my breathing even if was for a few moments. I was just shouting to myself, 'just release me already.'

Stan freed me from my restraints. I opened and closed my hands, stretching a little. I readied myself for what was to come.

"Well, why don't you get-" he started.

Before Stan could finish his words I shoved him to the ground, running out of that pink room.

I was going to _kill_ Cartman.

I heard the plop and patter of my bare feet on the tiles under me. I speedily peeked through the common room, then rec room and the cafeteria.

I searched every room, searching madly for Cartman.

There was no sign of him anywhere. I felt something solid hit me. I had run head on into Butters. He hit the ground, skidding.

"Where's Cartman?" I shouted down at him frantically, ignoring that I had hit him at all.

"Ow," his face contorted into a puzzled look. "I haven't seen him." he mumbled out frightened.

I took off past him, no doubt Kyle and Stan were on their walkie-talkies. Saying I was a high danger... Because I was.

I stomped down every hall, until finally, I stood in front of my old room. I lifted my foot, oh I was going to enjoy this.

I knocked open the door with a swift kick. I craned my neck all around the empty room, the cots were made and everything was neat.

I let out an irritated shriek, ripping my old room apart. I kicked the cots over. I trudged over, snatching the pure white pillows, ripping them in half. Feathers spewed all over the room as my nostrils flared.

Where was he?!

My eyes darted to my old desk. I examined that piece of junk lying down on the table. I snatched up the recorder. How did Cartman get this?

I noticed Stan standing the doorway, watching me with his arms crossed arms. "Find what you're looking for?"

"Where is Cartman?! Where is his stuff?!" I demanded.

"If you don't mind, you'll follow me to my office, we have a lot to discuss."

I complied, following him close as I held the recorder close to me. He held the door open, I stepped through seeing Kenny sitting in a wheelchair next to the love-seat.

"What's Kenny doing here?" I asked inquisitively.

"Unresolved business. Now, you asked where Cartman was."

Kyle stood by the door, seemingly guarding it.

"Let's go over some questions." he clicked his pen repeatedly. "What is your name?"

"I-Is this a trick question?" I gripped the arms of the seat anxiously.

I heard the faint sound of pen against paper. "Just relax. Tell me, who _are_ you."

"Tweek Tweak." I spat.

"Are you a boy or are you a girl?"

"I'm a boy."

"What color are your eyes?"

"Hazel."

"What's your father's name?"

"Richard Tweak." I answered quickly.

"Are you angry?"

"Right now? I'd say very." I hissed out, my words dripping with poison.

"Let's talk about Erick." he was drawing something on his paper, it was bothering me I couldn't see what it was.

"Explain why he's invincible? Why is it I'm blamed for his doing and you guys turn the blind eye when he's right beside you?!"

"I don't know Tweek, you fill in the plot holes. You made the story."

I scowled.

"Your name is Tweek Tweak, correct? Explain the similarities between the name Erick T. W. Cartman?"

He raised the paper up to my face. Cartman's name was written out and mine was written right below it.

"What are you talking about?"

He started drawing circles around letters.

"Your name is Erick T. W. Cartman. Remove the unnecessary letters, it spells out Tweek."

I leaned father towards the table, seizing the paper away from him. I peered down at the paper is disbelief. "What are you talking about? My name is Tweek. I-"

"Your time is up Erick. This isn't a game anymore. This isn't like the quiet game. You will lose yourself if you haven't already."

"My name is T-Tweek." I felt my voice shake.

"Tweek, that's the name you came up. Dissociation."

"Dissociation?"

"They lose themselves and their memories. People who have a history of any kind of abuse while young experience it in some shape or form. In rare cases, dissociation can lead to a person to play different people. Usually leading into multiple personality disorder. And not even realizing it. This is worse than Butters and Majorine."

I felt myself sink into the seat watching Stan get to his feet, pacing back and forth.

"You made another identity. Tweek's name just replacing Erick's. Just a name switch you see? Not a different personality, just a new identity. It would hide all the hurt you ever faced with a new name. A new name and a new role... "

He slammed his hands on the desk. Stan's grin spread across his face as he leaned father towards me.

"Everything is going right for you. But then, you seem weak, your angry and this rage is rising from inside you. You create another character. Cartman. Simple, your last name, but you yourself would never know that."

"What...?" I was lost, my mind couldn't process what he was saying.

"The Cartman boy was fat, child-like, ugly and mean. Why? It what you saw yourself as. It explains why you never ate, it explains your self-esteem and your anger you'd bottle up. After the intense trauma Craig put you under, your mind ran wild, 'Replace Erick. Replace the pain.' Until, only Tweek remained."

A lump formed in my throat and started to expand. "No... Yo- you're lying!"

"You were playing two parts. 'Tweek' had one part and 'Cartman' had another. You would switch back and forth. It was your mind desperately trying to cope with what happened. 'Tweek' would try to focus on the memories and 'Cartman' would push you away from remembering. The rage would come out whenever you felt threatened."

I let out a scream, holding myself close. His words stung like daggers. "STOP!"

"A paradigm shift between two characters for survival. One completely new and different, the other cruel and angry. One suited to deal with each situation individually but they became more of a hallucination. Walking day dreams, parts taking larger roles they never were supposed to."

"That's not true!" I felt myself jump to my feet. "I choked him. I felt him in my hands, I watched him turn blue."

"You were choking yourself."

"Wh-what about him taking my room, huh? What about that?" I sputtered, my brain was telling me to run out of there as fast as I could.

"Butters volunteered to watch over you so you wouldn't harm yourself."

"Why did everyone treat him like he was there huh?! Explain that!"

"You would switch voices. Cartman's voice and Tweek's. We focused on vocal cues. We played along with your fantasy so you would cope... Just like we did with Butters. Erick needed to come back but he never did. It only got worse." He gestured to my pockets. "Look, what's in your pockets."

I dug around in my pockets, pulling out screws and sharp objects... just like... Oh no.

"What the hell?!" I dropped the miscellaneous things to the floor like they were on fire.

"Where do you think you got the screws from? The repairman came to me after you snuck in the common room, said you picked up a few screws off the ground before walking off."

I took a fleeting look over to Kenny, before twisting back to Stan. "Then who broke Kenny?! Look at him!"

Stan sat back in his chair, seemingly getting off his soap box. "Kenny has a form of schizophrenia. When he can't handle thing's, he explodes and he falls into depression shortly after. He's always been this way."

"You're telling me... I didn't hurt him?" I felt relief wash over me.

"No, you caused him mental trauma as well. Those wrists and his stomach... You... You'd break him down and build him up again. Much like Craig. You mimicked Craig's abuse onto Kenny."

Kenny's hands moved slightly to his stomach. His eye's flickering to mine.

I was going to throw up. My palms were sweaty and I felt weak.

"I got the tape recorder right here." I threw it on his desk, trying to catch my breath. "Go ahead, I'll show you that I'm not crazy."

Stan sighed, pressing the play button as the tape turned.

I heard a shuffle. "Cartman, can we talk?" I noticed my voice right away. I knew it was mine. I anxiously awaited his voice.

"You're going to take up suicide? About time." I said snidely, in a deeper voice.

Oh my god. My face dropped and my breathing became more erratic.

"Tell me about Kenny." I asked politely.

"What do you want to know?" My voice warped again.

Stan pressed the stop button before returning his attention back to me.

I scooted back into my chair, I held my heart, unable to breathe. "You're lying. you- you liars. You- You altered the tape!"

"Erick, calm down." Kyle sounded apathetic. "You're going to make yourself sick."

My eyes hazed over as I mumbled out weakly. "I-I... I am Tweek."

"Erick, just accept the truth. Cope with what has happened and let it go. You're losing your sanity, becoming immersed in fantasies." he dug around his desk. "Look into this mirror."

I froze, it took all my will to raise my head and look into that mirror.

I stared at my appearance with my mouth agape. I touched my brown locks, before letting out a dry sob. I looked at my appearance for the first time in what seemed like years.

Puffy black bags hung under my hazel eyes and my appearance seemed pasty.

I've lost it.

I heard a familiar boy's voice speak up. My head whipped up to see Cartman standing in the corner of the room. He glared at me.

"Cartman?" I asked hesitantly.

"Now you know the truth. Do you want to go back to all of this? Back to people calling you a faggot or twitchy? Back to that harsh, cruel reality? You have to decide. Chose to live with your mistakes? Or let me make them go away."

I hid my face in my hands, ignoring him.

Stan hissed out. "Answer him. This is your chance to make things right again. Talk to him."

I puffed my chest out before standing straight. I was going to do this right. "I want you to disappear. You never protected me. You only hurt everyone around me. I want you to go away and never come back."

"You'll need me again. You will." Cartman smile lingered as he almost dissipated in a blink of an eye.

I saw the flicker of light from the mirror Stan held up.

It flashed into my eyes.

I thought back to being a little kid with a little party hat on my head. I took a deep breath before blowing out the flickering candles on top of my cake. My father had on a happy face, clapping. My mother held up a camera. "Smile Erick!"

The flash went off.

_Another flash._

We all sat in attention after the school's bell rang. I sat in desk near the teacher's. "Erick Cartman?" she called. I raised my hand high. "Here."

I glanced over to the window. A flash of light hit my eyes.

_Another flash._

Craig's mouth connected onto mine. His fingers entwining into my hair. "Erick..." he groaned out, his breath tickling my ear.

I could feel the light creeping underneath my eyelids.

_Another flash._

We were in the rec room, I stared down at the color crayons in my hands. Kenny let out a chuckle, grabbing my shoulder. "Erick, we're pretty damn good friends ain't we?"

_Another flash._

Kenny cried out, holding his stomach as the claret color stained his shirt. "Jus-just stop it! Please!" I looked closely down at the pieces of glass he clutched in his hands, it refracted a bright light back into my eyes.

_Another flash._

I sputtered, it was completely out of the blue. "You're going to expose me? YOU?" I murmured out.

I coughed, shrinking into the wall, trying to breathe as I grasped my own throat. I let out a growl. "You're not getting away with this."

"Why do you even try? You know I'm going to win. I'll get you kicked out of here. Say goodbye to that faggy boyfriend." I hissed.

I could feel the blood rushing to my face as my vision got hazy and a bright light washed over my eyes.

_Another flash._

I dug my skinny fingers into my apple, juices pouring out of the 'wounds'. "I'll make him bleed." I felt myself smirk almost malevolently. "He's weak. He'll beg for mercy, but I'll make him suffer."

I got to my feet in a rage, placing my hands around my neck. I slammed my head down onto the ground.

Kyle heaved me off of the ground and a few other nurses twisted my arms behind my back, restraining me. I was dragged out of the cafeteria. I only writhed more as they led me down a hallway.

I saw a flash of light from a nearby room window.

_Another flash._

My mouth gaped but the words never came. My father interrupted me, giving a skeptic look. "Are they calling for you?"

A few moments later the door flung open, police officers armed, pointing their weapons me. "Get on the ground, now." I got to my knees, placing my hands behind my head. "Are you Erick Cartman?"

"Y-yes."

I looked onto the light outside.

_Another flash._

I told myself, when I wake up I'll see a window. And out the window I'll see the traces of the mountainside. I'll would be welcomed by the aroma of coffee mom would be brewing downstairs. My alarm clock would go off at six thirty exactly. My little cockatoo would be chirping by then. That day never came. I was only fooling myself.

_My life has been a lie this whole time._

"Erick?" Stan shot up from his desk as I wobbled, knocking into the desk. My eyes rolling behind my head.

I felt my knees buckle under me as I collapsed into the carpet. As my vision blurred, I noticed the ceiling fan above.

Huh, to think if I wouldn't have fallen, I would have missed that tiny detail.

My vision darkened and I noticed a flash of orange darted to my side, shaking me.

...is the... opposite of blue.


	12. Chapter 12

**The last chapter was crazy right? So, I decided to clear things up~**

**Tweek's name is _really_ Erick T. W. Cartman. Erick would tell people to call him Tweek to immerse himself in the role. The name _Tweek_ was just a new identity, not personality.**

**The flash from the mirror Stan was holding set off a trigger of memories he had repressed. He was having flash backs having to do with a light source hitting his eyes. Think of it as like war veterans having flash backs by seeing guns or hearing loud noise, it's things that relate back to the war.****  
****The light triggered memories.****  
****He was seeing the repressed memories for what they were. Erick, not the fake identity Tweek.**

**Cartman was another personality all together. His name was just 'Cartman' not Erick.****  
****Everyone always referred to Cartman as so.  
Erick is Tweek and vice versa.**

**Oh! And Cartman was probably thought up around the time Tweek choked Craig in the bathroom. It was all that anger spilling over.**

**I hope I cleared stuff up, I love psychology can you tell? :)**

* * *

_Jingle... Jingle... Jingle..._

I could hear bells coming from somewhere. It was like church bells but smaller. Almost like a tambourine, maybe. It echoed loudly in my ears.

I stirred a little, my eyes creaked open. The blood was rushing back into my head, making me nauseous. The first thing I noticed when my eyes adjusted was how bright the room was.

Everything seemed hazy, but I remember everything that had happened in Stan's office. I don't want to think about it but I do. I don't want to deny it from happening. I don't want to relapse.

I sat myself up, rubbing my face roughly. I took a quick look around. There wasn't a ceiling fan or a desk. It looked exactly like my old room. The smell of lilacs reached my senses, like freshly washed sheets.

I took another quick glance, I wasn't laying on the floor but I was laying down on my old bed.

On my bed side I saw Kenny hunched over, snoring loudly. His head was face down like he'd been sitting by my bed side for some time.

I reached out, nudging him slightly. "Kenny?"

He shot up in his seat, mumbling to himself before he brightened. "Erick, your awake!"

My face went from shocked to relaxed. I forgot Tweek wasn't real. Kenny's features softened. "You alright? I-I'm sorry... Do you want me to call you Tweek or Erick?"

I felt a smile spread across my face. He was talking again and he was talking to me. "Call me what you want."

"Can I still call you Tweekster?" he asked hesitantly.

I let out a little chuckle before nodding.

"How long have I been asleep?" I sat up, stretching my limbs.

"About a day." his lips pursed slightly. "You took the truth hard."

I hummed in response.

"So, are you okay? Do you need anything?"

I didn't trust this situation at all. "Why are you treating me so nice? I thought you wanted nothing to do with me. You even called me a faggot." I gripped my sheets before smoothing them out. I was still hurt by that.

"I-I didn't mean it. I was just angry... I didn't want to get close just so you could hurt me all over again."

Oh, I forgot. Cartman made Kenny... I felt my cheeks warm up and my eyes stung with tears, but I wasn't going to cry.

"It was just hard to get close to someone who could destroy you with words. Even though it was Cartman, it still hurt. A lot. You guys have the same face. I would have rather died then hear anyone ever say those things to me."

A tiny snivel escape my throat. "Kenny... I am so, so sorry."

Kenny's expression changed from hurt to shocked as I continued on. "I would never want to hurt you. When I was lost I would tell myself the opposite of blue was orange. You were the orange. You were that orange crayon. It wasn't the warm colors that kept me going, it was you. You're the one who kept me alive."

I held back the tears putting on a strong face. I swallowed the large lump that formed in my throat. "I was just so alone and scared. Cartman never helped, he made things worse. He made me angry. I just felt like no one would ever save me so I whispered it out like a mantra. It made me feel like I wasn't alone anymore. I'm so alone Kenny."

Kenny spat. "Shut up,"

My head snapped up to his.

He stood abruptly before tugging me into a tight embrace. "Why can't you smile for once? I promise you, I'll make you smile. I want you happy. I want you to say that your happy and mean it."

My eyes were wide. I shocked. I've never been treated so...

"Cartman doesn't have to be there because I'll be here. And as long as you're here, I'll protect you." he whispered down to me.

...nice.

"How can you say that? After I tried to kill you?" I felt my bottom lip quiver.

"Because I know you wouldn't do that. The Tweekster I know wouldn't do anything like that."

I withdrew from his embrace a little, twisting away.

There was a pregnant silence before he reached his hand out towards me. He brushed through my haircut. "I think you're the cutest little guy I ever did see."

I let out a laugh through the tears that threatened to fall. "I'm taller than you, besides," I tucked a few locks behind my ear. "You're only saying that to cheer me up."

"Look at yourself! You're pitying yourself so much you don't even notice how wonderful you are."

How does someone like Kenny actually exist? How can he be so forgiving? To this day, I still don't know.

"You have a spark that brings out the best in people. I don't care who you are but I like you way more than I should." I turned back to him, did he really say that? He started again. "Stop feeling so sorry for yourself and start living your life."

I could see Kyle in the doorway, he ducked behind it like I couldn't see him.

"You're going to hate me but," I wiped my eyes quickly before I blurted out quickly. "I read your file."

He froze, the color from his face draining. He sat back into his chair, studying me. "Then you saw that I'm not leaving here and that I killed...?"

I nodded.

"I thought he was hurting this girl, I don't even remember it happening. I blacked out. All I remember was coming too with a gun in my hands and a dead man in the street-"

"It doesn't matter..." I intervened with a loving grin. "All that matters is that your here now, with me."

Kyle cleared his throat interrupting the silence.

"I see someone is awake."

Kenny and I straightened ourselves out like two teenagers making out and one of their dad's walked in.

I heard the familiar chime of bells as I noticed what he was wearing. I tried to hold in a laugh but I failed, letting out one of that loudest snorts I've done. He was dressed in elf scrubs with bells attached to his shirt and a pair of really curly shoes. He looked ridiculous.

"Kyle, why are you dressed like that?" I asked.

"Stan's forcing me to wear this dumb outfit."

"Why?"

"Christmas is in a few days, did you know that? There have been caroler running through here like crazy shaking Christmas bells." Kenny answered.

"It is?"

"You wanna go see?" Kyle pointed towards the door. "Plus, Stan needs to hear about the good news."

What did that mean? Hear the good news?

We walked out to the rec room. Stan was standing on a chair stapling tinsel on the ceiling.

Kyle called up to him. "Hey loser, guess who's awake?"

Stan craned his neck. "Oh, your awake Erick?"

"Hey," Kyle huffed, crossing his arms. "I want to take this off already!"

Stan grunted out, reaching on his tip toes to staple in another decoration. "You'll be happy about Christmas or your fired."

"I'm Jewish!" He shouted back. "I don't celebrate Christmas!"

"That's exactly why you're wearing the Elf costume. We got to plan this right or there will be no Kwanz-Hanu-Mas."

"Stan, what's Kwanz-Hanu-Mas?" I asked confused.

"It's a celebration of the three holidays." he brushed his hands on his dress pants, before grabbing another large string of tinsel.

How long have I been walking around here like a zombie? I don't know. Time seemed to slip by while I was in my head. I can't believe that Christmas was just around the corner. I was so busy with all that stuff I lost track of time. How could I let time just go on like that? How could I so absorbed in my own problems I failed to see everything that was happening in front of me?

Kyle waved us over to the corner. "Look at this!"

He plugged in the tree as colors exploded from the bulbs.

Kenny and I both were in awe. The tree glowed with different colors of bulbs. Popcorn and cranberry strings were strung all around it. There were no ornaments. I think it's because they could be used as weapons.

"It's so beautiful." I was taken aback.

Kenny hummed in agreement.

I about jumped when I heard a familiar voice from behind me. "What are you guys doing here?"

I saw Butters and Shelly near the door. Wow, it feels like I haven't seen them in years. I thought they were supposed to leave this place soon.

Butters brightened. "Gee-wizz, you both look great. Erick's practically glowing too!"

"Yeah, it's been a rough ride for us all." Kenny propped himself onto the wall.

We all silently agreed.

Shelly peered up at us. "Soon, were going to get out of here. Butters and I have had our setbacks but... We're leaving soon and we'll never look back."

Butters practically hopped up. "That's right, were going to be livin' the way we- uhm, want to."

I glanced over to Kenny reassuringly. "Well, I'm not leaving for a while." Kenny gave me gracious smile.

"Why? Don't you want to leave?" Butters probed.

I shrugged. "This place is like home."

Another period of silence.

"I'm glad I met you guys. I know, I wasn't such a great person but I'm going to change that." I twirled away before turning back on my heel to them. "Hello! It's nice to meet you, my name is Erick."

Everyone stared at me almost confused for a moment before speaking up.

Butters waved nervously. "Uhm, my name is Butters."

Shelly swayed slightly. "Shelly."

Kenny pointed to his chest egotistically. "And I'm Kenny, the sex appeal of the three." he joked.

We shared a laugh before I spoke up again. "Let's all keep in contact after we leave. I want to see you out there and not in here. I want to see Shelly start high school and Butters start college."

Kenny asked, almost engrossed with what I had to say. "What about you Tweekster?"

I held my hands close to my chest. "I'm going to live my life for me."

Butters tilted his head, placing a finger to his lip. "Gee, that's a little vague don't you think?"

"No," my eyes wandered over the lit tree. "I've been so mixed up in the future and past, I haven't looked one what's happening now. I want to go out in the outside world and say, 'I'm ready for anything'."

Shelly smiled warmly. "You've done a lot of growing, haven't you?"

I turned, blushing modestly.

Butters squealed happily, grabbing my neck in a hug when Stan glared us down.

"No contact." he nearly wobbled off of the chair, regaining his balance at the last-minute. The string of red and green decorations came falling down on him.

Kyle boasted loudly. "That's what you get."

Everything was wonderful. Life was beautiful again.

* * *

It was Christmas morning. I could barely sleep. I had memories flooding back to me, mostly of home. Mom and dad and the tree. Man, if only you can go back in time.

There were a lot of activities today. Therapy dogs, presents and games, who wouldn't be excited? I stirred slightly, smiling to myself. It was still the dead of night, at least I could presume. The windows are so high up and barred, I couldn't tell.

I heard my door creak open. For a minute I thought it was Stan, I squinted my eyes whispering out. "Who's there?

I didn't get a response.

What if it was Cartman? What if he was going to mess everything up again? No... no, Cartman was all in my imagination.

Then, who was this?

I felt the weight on the bed shift, like someone was crawling in bed with me. I gasped, "Stan?"

From a little light peeking through the barred window I could see a bit blonde hair and a set of blue eyes.

"Ken-?"

His hands cupped my face as he led me in close. His teeth nearly brushing against mine. I let out a weak gasp melting into his touch. This wasn't the feeling I got with Craig, no, this is different. It wasn't urgency it was almost desperation. It wasn't those lusty kisses while fooling around in the back of Craig's car.

It felt almost desolate and sad. It was like a goodbye kiss as your lover seemingly leaves forever.

I didn't like it.

I broke the kiss with a tiny shake. "Wh-Why?"

"There doesn't need to be a reason for everything." he whispered, his breath tickling my cheek. "Just hold me."

I gulped, feeling him bury himself into my chest. Was he alright? Maybe even Kenny had a breaking point and myabe he didn't want to reach his breakthrough. He didn't want to go into prison and rot.

Or maybe I was just thinking too much.

I peered down seeing him tracing shapes into my shirt before looking up to me.

"Please don't leave me here,"

I haven't heard him sound so weak before in my life. I leaned down, pecking the top of his head.

"And don't forget about me."

He turned in my grasp, staring into my eyes. His nose touching mine. It was like he was building up the strength to kiss me again before falling short, burying himself in my neck.

I wanted to tell him it was okay, that I would stay with him forever but I'd be lying.

I felt drips of something running down my the side of my neck. I let out a chuckle. "Are you drooling on me Kenny?"

It was just then I his chest spasming against mine, taking sharp breaths. He let out a sound before muffling it against my neck, hiding it. I felt more wetness on my neck.

Without another word, I wrapped my arms tightly around him, embracing him.

We stayed like that until the sun crept into my window. Nothing happened between us. Very rarely would he brush his lips up to mine. I just held him in my arms, cradling him there.

I could hear the cheers of patients hurrying to the rec room.

I was watching morning light dance up from the window. Kenny was fast asleep, his breathing calm and his face relaxed.

I nudged him softly. He stirred before sitting up on the edge of the bed. He wiped his face, getting to his feet.

He let out a breath. "Thank you for last ni-"

"Don't mention it. It's fine, it was nice." I smiled back reassuringly.

He leaned down, pressing his lips to my cheek. "Let's get down to the rec room. I want my present."

I rubbed my sore eyes, I was up pretty much the whole night. "You seem a little eager." I joked.

"Christmas comes only once a year~!" he sung to himself. "I wanna see what I got."

We stepped out of my bedroom, following the herd of patients. I heard a familiar voice from behind us as he barged through the sea of people. "Wait for me!" Butters nearly tripped over his own feet. "Shelly already left to go to the rec room without me. Don't leave me too."

Kenny scoffed. "We were gonna leave ya in the dust anyways. Ain't that right?"

"What?" I answered confused.

Butters let out a huff before crossing his arms. He was a cute pouter that's for sure.

Kenny gestured to me. "Come on, just leave him pout. We'll get all the presents." I blinked following him as Butters got father and farther away.

Butters peeked over his shoulder at us and hollered. "Hey, you're supposed to feel sorry for me! Wait up!"

We gathered in the rec room. Stan and Kyle and a few other nurses set up different tables. Hanukkah, Kwanza and Christmas.

As Stan called it, 'Kwanz-Hanu-Mas', was going off with a bang. I haven't seen so many people happy. I haven't seen so many sad people laughing. It was comforting.

Stan was handing out presents while Kyle sat at the Hanukkah table teaching the younger patients how to play spin a dreidel and win gold coin chocolates.

Stan sat with a fake beard on like a gussied up Santa.

I bet Stan spent a lot on these gifts, I guess they were personalized for the each of us. We all stood in line anxiously awaiting our gift. When the line shortened and I got to the table I forgot what I was going to say to him. I fidgeted as Stan let out a loud, 'ho-ho-ho'.

"What is your name boy?" he said loudly.

"Oh, come on," I muttered before speaking up. "You know my name."

He let out a chuckle before digging in the stacks of presents. "This one is for you. Merry Christmas." he said simply.

"Thank you, Merry Christmas."

I grabbed my present, sitting next to Kenny while Butters sat next to Shelly.

Shelly unwrapped her present before gasping and holding up the doll. "Oh wow," She held it close to her. "How did he know? It's adorable- I mean, its shitty!" she tried to put up the tough girl guise.

We snickered.

"Shut up turds!"

Butters cuddled his stuffed animal. Kawaii kitty? Hello cat? I dunno. It was just a cat plushie. It was another one to add to his collection.

I almost didn't want to unwrap my present. It was wrapped so neatly with little snowmen skiing on it. I ripped off the wrapping paper before I pulled up a large box of crayons and a paper pad. I gazed down at the one loose crayons taped to a page inside of the pad. I flipped it open to the crayon inside, something was sprawled out in neat cursive. 'Hope you and Kenny are happy together - Your friends, Stan and Kyle.'

A smile grew across my face.

I felt a set of eyes on me. I peered over my shoulder to see Kenny reading over my shoulder. He let a hum. "I didn't know we were an item."

I blushed, covering the paper. "I- uhm, I didn't know either. Weird huh? What did you get?"

He snickered, holding up the peculiar looking object. "I got a snow globe."

Shelly teased. "That's lame."

Kenny shook it before laughing. "I kinda like it."

He watched the snow flurry around in the glass bubble.

Kyle gestured to us, holding up a camera. "Let's get a picture."

The whole rec room stood together by the tree. Kenny grabbed my shoulder, no doubt readying a goofy smile. Kyle set the timer, flying next to Stan's side before I heard a few clicks come from the camera.

That day next to Kenny, was one of the best days of my life.

And I miss it dearly because nothing ever stays the same.

No matter how much you want it to.


	13. Chapter 13

**_This is the last chapter._**

**So chapter 12 got on my nerves on how positive it was... There was nothing wrong, but that's about to change very quick. I kinda had misty eyes writing this chapter. I'll miss writing this for sure. I might re-write/re-work it again one day when my writing skills get better :)**

**Don't forget to check out my other stories as well. Hugs and Kisses to people who have read this far! You guys are the best.**

* * *

At first it was Shelly who left with a smile. "See you on the outside." she said as she disappeared out the bright light of the outside world.

Then butters who left. "Don't worry guys, I'll come visit!" he said happily.  
But he never came to visit either.

It was just me and Kenny and we we're happy... joking and laughing as days went by. Those times he spent with me were filled with smiles. Days that I would never give up.

Things weren't ever going to stay the same. I knew this quite well, I experienced firsthand how life could change within a matter of minutes.

I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak.

It happened in Stan's office. I remember he had coaxed me inside with a promise of a simple reassessment, then he hit me with an ultimatum.  
Stan folded his hands before peeking down at his paperwork. "You've been treated. You have no underlying disorders... You're healthy."

"I can't go. I just can't!" I begged. "Please let me stay another week!" I searched for anything. anything that would make him change his mind but I couldn't think. My head was trying to wrap around me leaving.

"Its Kenny isn't it? Visit as much as you like but your cured. I want you on your way in at least three days."

I didn't tell Kenny until last minute. I had waited two days and now it was my last night. I thought that waiting would make it easier but it didn't. It just hurt more.

When I thought about leaving I was happy but I wasn't ready to leave Kenny. I was ready to go back to school and I was ready to lead my life again but not to leave Kenny in the dust.

I don't want to be all alone again. I didn't want to start over by myself.

It was dinner time and we were having steak, my favorite. I wasn't hungry, in fact, I didn't have an appetite. I poked at the poor meat pitifully with my spoon, sipping on my protein shake.

Kenny was jiggling his spoon in his mouth, studying me for a straight five minutes. He finally nudged me, taking the metal spoon from his mouth and stabbing into his mashed potatoes. "Hey, you love steak. What's wro-"

"I'm leaving tomorrow," I blurted out. "I gotta pack my things in the morning."

My eyes avoided him like the plague. I wouldn't dare look at his face. I didn't want to see him angry or sad or disappointed. I didn't like seeing Kenny anything but happy. If he were to show anything but a smile I'd just die.

He muttered out something with a sigh. "This was a long time coming... Looks like I'll need new friends."

"No, no... I'll visit you every day and I-I'll-" I snatched his hands up, gazing into his bright blue eyes.

"Don't." he ripped his hands away from me. "Promise something you can keep."

"No- no Ken, I will. I'll visit you every day." I smiled up to him reassuringly. "I promise you. You chose me."

He was quiet for a moment, his eyes searching for something as he nodded. "I chose you."

That night, I sat in my bed in silence. I wanted to sneak out and see Kenny but I didn't have the strength. It's like my legs wouldn't obey me. I kept staring down at my stark white sheets until the morning light reached my window.

That was the worst feeling anyone could possibly imagine. Frozen in place and scared of the future over someone.

And usually a 'someone' never lasts forever.

I lifted myself off the small cot. I placed my feet on the cold cement floors. I couldn't help but place my head in my hands. I wanted to cry for so many reasons.

I told myself, "Today will be the worst day of my life."

And it was. I was leaving behind the best part of my life.

Someone knocked on my door, it creaked open with a squeak. "Erick?" Kyle called out.

I nodded in compliance already knowing what he was going to ask. "I'm ready."

Kyle and I walked into the holding area. He went through all the old things I had. He placed my clothes in my hands, stepping out.

I glanced at the old olive colored button up shirt. That was the old me. The new me is different... At least, I'd like to think so. I struggled, wiggling into my old jeans. It seemed like I gained a little weight. I guess that wasn't a bad thing. I slid on my shirt, buttoning it carefully. It was weird and foreign. I wasn't used to normal clothes like this.

Kyle peeked into the little room. "Are you almost done?"

I let out a little sigh I'd been holding. "Can I say goodbye to Kenny real quick? I'll do it myself."

Kyle gathered the rest of my things in a bag. "Go ahead. I'll pick you there."

I started out towards the cafeteria seeing Kenny eating alone. I walked up to his side. He ignored my presence all together. I murmured out a, 'hi'. He stirred his food all together again, taking another big bite.

"Are you going to say anything?" I asked.

"Have fun out there." he spat, his mouth full of food.

No I miss you? No I love you?

Kyle came to my side. He shuffled his feet noticing the tension between us. "You alright?"

"Okay, I'm ready to go."

Kyle glared down at Kenny before shaking his head. I walked through the empty halls to entrance where Stan waited.

Stan lifted his wrist up, reading the small clock. "You're on time. The bus is waiting."

I swallowed the lump in my throat before letting out a shaky sigh. "Thank you for everything Stan-"

I heard a ruckus from behind me. Shouts and yells with the occasional thumps and bangs. I turned my head to the noise with a flash or orange coming towards me with nurses trailing behind. He clutched a shoe-box in his arms and he had a goofy smile plastered on his face.

He darting into me, giving me a sloppy kiss before getting tackled down by nurses. It reminded me of a football game.

He grunted, wide eyed looking at the syringe full of sedatives. He wiggled more on the ground. "Wait! Wait, I just wanna say goodbye."

Stan let out a quick sigh. "Let him go."

The nurses gave each other confused looks before letting him go. Kenny got to his feet brushing himself off. "You punch a chick in the jaw tryin' to see someone leave and I'm the bad guy."

I studied him hard as he close the space between us. He pecked my cheeks, holding my shoulders tight. "You're my best friend. I know that now."

I took a deep breath, listening closely. "You'll always be my friend. And, I know that you'll find love somewhere but not with me." He cracked a small smile. "I'm not that person. I'll be here until I die. You deserve something so much more."

The nurses snatched him up, restraining his arms behind his back.

He gestured with his head to a box on the floor. "That's for you."

I grabbed it before putting it under my arm.

He was getting dragged away, yelling out. "I'll miss you Tweekster."

I waved trying to hold in tears as I croaked out. "I love you Kenny."

Kenny shot me a crooked smile as he was pulled out of the room entirely, disappearing behind the two doors.

Kyle gave me a hug while Stan shook my hand professionally. "Good luck. Don't forget to visit me and show progress."

I took a few steps out the door hesitantly before stepping outside completely. I saw the outside world for the first time in what seemed like years. I placed my hand over my face, like a vampire in sun light. The light burning my eyes. I was so used to the iridescent bulbs artificial light.

I pulled myself onto bus waiting for me, I flopped down in the first seat, leaning my face against the cool glass. The bus stared up with a roar. I shifted my attention outside to the snow falling from the sky. It was so surreal. I can't believe I'm gone from that place.

I set the box on my lap letting out a yawn.

I stared down at it curiously. I wonder what could be inside. A human head? I had to laugh to myself, I'm such a dork. How would Kenny even get a human head?

I lifted the lid carefully, peeking inside. A few miscellaneous items along with a single orange crayon, a photo of me Kenny and everyone at the institution around the Christmas and a small note.

I let out a happy sigh reading it to myself.

* * *

Minutes turned to hours, hours to days, and days to months.

Has it really been that long?

A few months later, I had a job and doing a few classes at the community college. I'd been visiting Kenny nearly anytime I could which as of late, haven't been much.

I hated spring as much as the next person but I guess spring meant new beginnings.

I started a job out at the new Harbucks. I figured free coffee every so often was a perk. I tried being a gas station clerk then a movie clerk but that didn't work out too well. I was always late to work and a bit grumpy.

The shop's bell rang with a slight jingle.

I turned my attention from the coffee maker to see a man. I noticed his black shaggy hair under a blue chullo and his matching hoodie. He had the same shitty disposition on life.

His cold eyes met mine.

He stared at me hard before coming to the front counter, reading my name tag.

"...Erick?"

"What?" I answered.

"When did you get out of the looney bin?" he asked, his eyebrow raising just slightly with mild interest.

Bastard.

"Look, you going to buy something or not?" I growled.

"Don't be so cold, it's me Craig."

"I know who you are, I'm just not engaging you in a conversation. Do you want something or not?"

I knew what he wanted. I could bet my life on it. He wanted his coffee black like his soul. Hot, ugly and angry.

"Black coffee." he said simply.

I picked up a cup from the stack filling it up before nearly slamming it on the counter. He placed the money in my hand while I put the change on the counter. I don't even want to touch that guy.

Craig walked out without a single word and that's how I like it.

After a few minutes, I looked at the clock. My shift was over.

I hung up my apron on the hook, shutting everything off and locking up.

I fingered the orange crayon in my pocket as I started off to my car.

Craig was leaning against my car sipping his coffee.

"What do you want from me?" I spat.

"Why don't you want to talk to me?" he threw his cup into the parking lot.

"You're the one who got me into the mental hospital in the first place."

"You choked me." he defended.

"You used me, beat me and humiliated me!" I felt my face turn red. "I was the one you were bashing into, the one you used like some kind of dish rag and the one who sent me to the 'looney bin'."

I was getting angrier, and angrier at the second. Just seeing Craig's face is making me want to bruise it so badly.

"Well, who would they believe... Me, a good looking boy with friends or a nerdy boy who never fit in right with an unhealthy obsession with me?"

He let out a chuckle, closing the space between us. I let out an irritated sigh grabbing his shoulders before sliding him out of the way. He snatched my chin in his hand. "You have gotten sexier and feistier. Not too clingy either. Maybe I could fit you in my schedule again. How 'bout it?"

I grabbed his collar, slamming him against my Junker car.

"Don't you ever touch me again."

He whispered out with a hiss. "Admit it Erick, you need me like air. You're drawn to me."

I felt my face flush and my eyes get hot. "The opposite of blue is orange, you hear me? I don't need you anymore."

"The opposite huh? Another rambling you've picked up. God, your still insane." he rolled his eyes.

"Shut your mouth Craig! SHUT UP!" I slammed him into the side door. I about dented the my car.

"Or what? You'll choke me again? Do it."

He grabbed my hands placing them around his neck. "Show me that you can."

My fingers curling around his scrawny neck as I started to squeeze.

I saw something come behind me. I tensed up twisting my head over my shoulder. No, it can't be. It was him again... Cartman? Coming to my aid? I don't need him anymore. It can't be though... I saw an orange hoodie.

It was Kenny.

"Tweekster, stop." he huffed and puffed, looking like he had ran a mile to see me. "And you, you get out of here now."

"Ken?" I let my hands fall to my sides, watching him closely.

"Get out of here." his eyes narrowed towards Craig.

Craig had a grin spreading across his features. "What are you gonna do?"

Kenny got explosive, his face turned red as veins jutted out of his neck. "GET OUT OF HERE!"

Craig narrowed his eyes at me before scoffing. "You really haven't changed Erick. Always someone to come to your rescue. Such a fag."

He twisted out of my grasp, brushing himself off. He started down the street's of South Park until he disappeared into the night.

I looked over to Kenny questioningly. "How-?"

"You need to be protected and I'll be by your side. Just don't tell Stan, 'kay?"

I darted into his arms, feeling more relaxed than I had been in a long while.

"I love you Kenny."

* * *

I was completely transfixed with the coffin; I guess I was used to all the depressing things around me. I don't think I could cry anymore. When I would think about everything that happened my eyes were dry.

Stan and Kyle were closest to the casket. I couldn't help feel Stan's eyes on me for a moment. I couldn't bear to look into his eyes. I didn't want to upset him again.

A funeral and not a cloud in sight. It was one of the more warmer days in South park. Ironic isn't it?

Kyle was strong as he clutched his partner's shoulder. He was Stan's shield. That's exactly what he needed.

Kenny was near the back by me, I don't think he had it in him to be the comforter. Every once and a while I would hear him snivel and snort.

I took a quick look over to Butters who seemingly kept it together. He kept rubbing Shelly's back almost in a comforting way a mother would. He was so good to her. Those two were inseparable.

I looked out into the crowd behind me saw only a few family members, staring at the priest. They were completely unreadable. A mother, a father, a brother and a sister. Is that really all who cared about him?

The priest spoke at the podium for the last time. "Let us commend him to the mercy of God. We commit him to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life."

The coffin began to get lowered down, down into the ground.

I didn't want to watch it. I knew if I did, it would be the ultimatum. The proof that he wouldn't ever come back. That _he_ would be gone forever.

Kenny let out a sigh next to me, rubbing his nose with my handkerchief. "Funerals are so goddamn depressing."

"Don't say that." I shushed him. "He's gone and it's my fault."

I could feel my eyes bubble up with tears again. I'm such a crybaby. I felt him arm looping around my shoulders tugging me into his neck. I tried to focus on his hums as he hushed me.

"It's not your fault." Kenny whispered near my ear. "Everything is going to be okay now. I'm here. I'm here now."

I want to hold it all in. It's like a beaver dam, it's going to crush under overwhelming pressure. It's so hard.

I turn my attention back to the ceremony to see a buried plot, fresh dirt covering the hole.

I wonder if he'll have a tombstone...

Stan hid his puffy eyes before sniffing. "Let's get a drink. I'm parched."

Kyle grimaced over at Stan, probably because of his apparent drinking habit he'd picked up. Not that I don't feel bad. Stan really works hard and... I wish he could be happier.

Kyle glanced over to Shelly, Butters and me. "Yeah, why don't you guys come along."

We all gathered inside the tiny bar near the bad end of town. It was the closest one to the cemetery. We sat around a tiny booth, drinking and laughing. Mostly remembering the past.

Shelly told me about her first day at high school and Butters talked about his new college life. There wasn't much for me to tell. I was living a happy life I suppose with my lover.

I had the best friends in the whole world. Things were great as they were. I don t care if you call it the nut house or anything. That place was my home and I couldn't be any happier that I went.

Stan spoke up. "To Kenny," He lifted his glass of whiskey. "God rest his soul." we clinked our glasses together.

"To Kenny." everyone murmured.

I raised my glass before looking to Kenny beside me. "Here's to you Ken."

"To me then." he answered back.

Kyle gave Stan a worried glance as I held back a laugh watching Kenny take a mouthful of my soda.

Stan had called me in the middle of the night, telling me that Kenny had busted the snow globe in his room. He used the glass to... well, off himself. Stan told me that he was becoming more and more unstable with my absence.

Stan asked why I had been gone for so long. I told him because Kenny was with me... I saw him standing in front of me. I heard his voice, I even smelled his smell.

I... I wasn't there for him. I can't help blame myself for this whole thing. I killed Kenny.

I killed Kenny.

I...

But he's not dead. He's with me, I'm not replacing Cartman either. He said he would always protect me and he will. Cartman was gone but Kenny would stay forever or maybe, they would both come back... Who knows? Maybe I would revert back to Tweek and live a fantasy.

It sounds so nice now.

Stan had signed me up to go back into the institute in a few weeks because of relapse.

Relapse? More like revelation.

My name is Tweek Tweak and was going to be imprisoned at South Park mental facility for the second time. I'm twenty years old and I'm told I have problems I needed to work out.

I don't feel crazy or insane.

Because I'm not..

And I wish I could give in and take the Picasso route because this cycle would never end. I would always be broken just like Kenny. I wish I could be brave like him.

Maybe, I don't have to try anymore. The saying, 'opposite of blue', doesn't interest me anymore.

I couldn't help smile.

Kenny, I'm coming for you.


End file.
